# Turns Out I’m Not Mentally Ill

## 原来我不是精神病啊 by [Deep-Sea Scalpel (深海手术刀)](https://www.jjwxc.net/oneauthor.php?authorid=1012567)

Deep-Sea Scalpel is also the author of [Death Spiral \[Infinite Flow\]](https://www.novelupdates.com/series/death-spiral-infinite-flow/)!

Publisher: [JJWXC](https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=6430464)

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### Synopsis

Lin Jianyuan, 27, corporate drone. Ever since the time he pulled an all-nighter, passed out, and got carted to the hospital, he’s been seeing all kinds of strange things every day.

Like vines wriggling out through a coworker’s pupil.

Like frogs spit out when his boss’s trachea splits open during meetings.

Like after a two-hour commute he finally clocks out, drags his exhausted body home, opens the door—and finds a flesh-pink, free-standing digestive system opening and closing its mouth in a smile at him, saying:

*You’re back.*

*What would you like first? A bath, dinner, or… me?*

Lin Jianyuan: You’re a whole set of offal—and raw at that. How am I supposed to eat you?

Suspecting his brain was fried, he went to the hospital; the doctor said the hallucinations were probably from overwork and lack of sleep.

Doctor: Don’t stress about it. Just relax.

Lin Jianyuan breathed a sigh of relief: So I’m mentally ill after all.

After the “diagnosis,” Lin Jianyuan perked right up.

A coworker said his vision kept blurring at the screen and he felt like he was going bLin Jianyuand; Lin Jianyuan reached back and yanked out the squalling vine. The coworker’s eye that took up half his face went bright and bling-bling shiny again, and he could go back to the grind, hammering the keyboard with all thirty-one fingers.

His boss held meetings even after hours; the little mouth on his throat went ribbit ribbit and just kept spitting frogs. Lin Jianyuan simply scooped them with a net, took the floorful of frogs home for an extra dish—consider it in-kind overtime pay. The digestive system chowed down and kept saying they were great; at night it would rub up against him with its throat tube, damp and cool like some reptile pet. Adorable.

…Yes, even that raw, underdone digestive system at home looked cuter by the day. One day he even thought, well, it’s got a mouth at least. Maybe a kiss?

Lin Jianyuan gradually made peace with his “mental illness,” and life kept getting better.

Until one day, the Aberration Management Bureau showed up at his door and asked, aghast:

A-class aberrant \[Eye Vines]—you’re the one who tore it to pieces?

S-class aberrant \[Frog Rain]—you’re the one who contained it??

Lin Jianyuan: Aberrant? What aberrant? If my coworker and boss are aberrants, then what does that make my digestive-system wife?

Lin Jianyuan pulled out his digestive-system wife, who was hiding shyly behind him.

Bureau: …

S+-class alert! Request high-tier combatants for support! Severe regional contamination warning! Clear the civilians! Clear the civilians! Clear the civilians!!!

Lin Jianyuan: ?

So I’m not mentally ill after all.

But he thought it over. A wife was still a wife, and besides, they’d already kissed. He shielded his wife behind him and said, Baby, don’t be scared. I’ll protect you.

The huge meat-red shadow in the middle of revealing its true form: …Mm. (bashful)

And the Bureau watched, eyes wide, as the off-the-charts contamination reading on their instruments vanished in an instant.

Bureau: ?

Wait—“wife”???

You’re calling that S+-class aberrant \[Blight Realm] your wife?!

***

1\) The wife’s the top.

2\) Also titled “My Digestive System ♥️”

Tags: sweet, power fantasy, lighthearted, eldritch

One-line summary: Dating a non-human ❌ Dating part of a human ✔️🥰
