# Chapter 52 ### Chapter 52: I Knew My Mental Illness Couldn’t Have Just Gotten Better… Lin Jianyuan staggered out the door. Pei Shuo hurried after him. "Hey, wait!" Lin Jianyuan said, "I have something to take care of." His lips were pale, his face ashen. Pei Shuo grabbed his arm, refusing to let go. "What happened? Calm down, okay? Don't panic!" The others crowded around, worried and anxious. "Yeah, Lin Jianyuan, slow down. Tell us what's going on. Maybe we can help." Lin Jianyuan's mouth twitched, then he pressed his lips together, jaw clenched tight. He said, "It's personal. I need to go home." Everyone exchanged uneasy glances. After that phone call, they all had a pretty good idea what was happening. But none of them knew what to do. The thing they’d feared most had finally happened. Lin Jianyuan tried to leave, but Pei Shuo clung to his arm, blocking his way. Lin Jianyuan frowned. "What are you doing? Why are you stopping me?" Pei Shuo opened his mouth, but couldn't find the words. He just wouldn't let go. Qin Shi and Su Zhiwei came over too. Qin Shi said, "Lin Jianyuan, you look awful. How can we let you go home alone like this?" Su Zhiwei added, "Yeah. If you have to go, let Xiao-Shuo go with you. I'll tell Jiang Chen you need to take off." They all looked at each other. There was nothing else to do. But Lin Jianyuan said, "I'm fine." Pei Shuo: "Come on…" Lin Jianyuan pried his fingers off, one by one, and said calmly, "I'm fine. I'm just going home to check on something. If anything happens, I'll go straight to... the hospital." Everyone fell silent. The blow had hit Lin Jianyuan much harder than they’d imagined. The calmer he acted, the more worried they became. Pei Shuo tried to say something else, but Lin Jianyuan suddenly snapped. "Let go of me! I just want to go home! Who are you to stop me? Why can’t I go home?!" The outburst startled Pei Shuo so much he jumped. The others rushed forward, hesitated, then gave in. "Alright, alright. Go home, but be careful, okay?" "Yeah, call us if anything happens. We're all here for you." "Yuan-ge, I still—" Pei Shuo tried to follow, but Qin Shi held him back. Pei Shuo looked back, confused. Qin Shi shook his head and gave him a look. Pei Shuo pressed his lips together and let it go. "...Thanks, everyone," Lin Jianyuan said quietly. "I'm just... really just going home to check on something. It's nothing big. If it's fine, I'll come right back. Yeah. I'll come right back." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "Lin Jianyuan, I believe you can get through this," Qin Shi said softly behind him. Lin Jianyuan paused. A wry smile flickered at the corner of his mouth. "Yeah." He didn't look back as he walked out the door. It was still hot out. Ten in the morning, and the temperature was climbing. Lin Jianyuan walked toward the subway under the blazing sun, his fingers trembling, palms slick with sweat. His damp fingers couldn’t unlock his phone. He switched to typing in his password. The phone unlocked. But his hand hovered over the screen. He couldn’t bring himself to call his roommate. He reached the subway. Cool air drifted up from the station, soothing his overheated mind. He stood at the entrance, tipped his head back, and took a deep breath. And another. He felt like someone standing at the edge of a cliff, about to push a boulder into the abyss. At the bottom of that abyss lay himself. "Lin Jianyuan?" squish toy asked, confused. "What's wrong?" Little Rock sounded worried too. "Are you feeling sick?" Angel Eyeball: "Landlord must be raising the rent. That's why Lin Jianyuan's so upset." Mouth of the Abyss: "No way, how much did it go up to get him this worked up?" Lin Jianyuan ignored them. With shaking fingers, he dialed his roommate on WeChat. The screen changed to the waiting call interface. Time had never moved so slowly. He headed into the station, reaching into his pocket for the squish toy. His fingers found the familiar, soft, bouncy texture. The call connected. "Hello?" His roommate’s voice came through, gentle and warm. "What’s up?" The subway thundered into the station. The train arrived. It hit him like a sledgehammer, shattering his thoughts. It was as if the top of his head had blown open. Suddenly, he could breathe again. He stood at the edge of the platform, slowly getting his breath back. Then he called out softly. "Baby." "Mhm, I hear you. It's noisy over there," his roommate replied, voice lilting with that familiar smile. "Why the sudden call? Miss me already?" Lin Jianyuan swallowed hard. "I miss you. Baby." His eyes stung. He murmured, hoarse, "I miss you so much, baby." "But you only left for work two hours ago!" His roommate laughed. "You miss me already? Is work really that unbearable?" "I'm coming home now," Lin Jianyuan said. His roommate didn’t ask why he was skipping work, just said, "Okay." There was happiness in that voice. It sounded like his roommate was looking forward to seeing him too. Lin Jianyuan hung up. He wiped his eyes and stepped onto the train. *Sk——* At home. Xie Yu stared at the man before him. No, not a man. Not even close. "Delirium." Xie Yu’s voice was icy. "This is my territory." The man was ghostly pale, eyes unfocused. His clothes were soaked, hair plastered to his forehead, water still dripping off him. He reeked of insect repellent, so strong it made Xie Yu’s head spin. It was a special Bureau drug, meant to keep your sanity from slipping. Every Aberrant hated the stuff. But Lin Jianyuan liked it. Delirium didn’t answer Xie Yu’s sharp question. He just stood there, blank, by the shoe cabinet, like a guest waiting for his host to bring him slippers. "Don’t make me throw you out," Xie Yu said coldly. "Get out." There was real menace in his voice now. But Delirium didn’t react. His eyes were empty, more like ornaments than organs that could see. Yet he was still "looking." He was "looking" at the apartment. From the entryway to the living room, the bathroom, the kitchen. Like a floating glass lamp, his gaze drifted from spot to spot, never settling anywhere. Until his gaze landed on Lin Jianyuan’s bedroom, pausing at the barely open door. "If you want to die, do it somewhere else!" Xie Yu exploded. A wave of fleshy red surged forward. Countless intestine-like tendrils shot out, wrapping Delirium’s arms, legs, neck, and torso, cocooning him like a silkworm. Then tossed him out. —Wait! Forgot to open the window! Can’t smash up my own place! Pause on taking out the trash. Xie Yu carefully softened the steel-hard tendrils so he wouldn’t break the window frame. He slid the window open with a clatter. Only then did he toss the pale trash outside. *—ip.* Because the travel time had been skipped, Lin Jianyuan didn’t feel any calmer when he stepped out of the subway. He was still wound tight, and the closer he got to home, the worse it got. He’d called, but what if that call was just another hallucination? What if the call log was just his brain filling in the blanks? What if he got home and found out his wife wasn’t real after all? Hospitalization. Would that fix anything? Would a hospital bring his wife back? Would a hospital make him real?! …He should have noticed something was off long ago. His wife was just too strange. He’d seen plenty of hallucinations since getting sick, but only his wife had always appeared as a monster—and always the same monster. Unlike the eye vines, or the talking squish toy—those, he knew were fake. But his wife—he’d always thought he was real. He should have realized something was wrong… It had never made sense from the start… Like how he never mentioned his school, or what he studied. Like how his world seemed to revolve entirely around him—he never talked about his own life. And most importantly— The rent on this old dump was sky-high. He had no money. Why would he pick such an expensive place? He used to think it was for him. He’d been so smug, thinking he’d rather spend more just to move in with him. But none of it made sense! It was all wishful thinking. He’d used “I’m mentally ill” as a catch-all excuse for every inconsistency. He just desperately wanted someone to be there. Wanted someone to soothe his heart. Wanted to come home after a long day and have someone leave the light on, say “Welcome back.” Wanted a safe harbor. Wanted a warm home. He’d never realized how badly he craved home—until now. He’d wanted it so much, he’d hallucinated it. Eyes burning, Lin Jianyuan hurried toward the old apartment complex. The little hallucinations in his pocket started chattering again. "Lin Jianyuan, what's wrong? You look off." "If you’re upset, can you talk to us first? If you go home like this, your wife will kill us!" "Yeah! Wait, are you about to cry? Don't cry! What's going on? Say something!" "Lin Jianyuan? Hey, can you hear us? Lin Jianyuan!" "Lin Jianyuan!!!" Bang! Something crashed to the ground, sending up a cloud of dust. Lin Jianyuan jumped, instinctively stepping back. His scattered soul snapped back into place. The dust cleared. Lin Jianyuan saw a dazed man sitting on the ground. He was ghostly pale, shirt and pants drenched, hair plastered to his forehead. He looked like he’d just been dragged out of a river, water still dripping off him. But the moment he saw Lin Jianyuan, he struggled to his feet. His trembling eyes steadied. The vacant look faded, focus returning. The pale man stared at him. His gaze wrapped around Lin Jianyuan, sticky and unyielding as silk. The man staggered upright, lips parting. A look of joy flickered across his pale, dazed face. Lin Jianyuan froze. In that instant, the man lurched toward him. His sharp, pale features were lit with happiness. His lips moved, Adam’s apple bobbing. He looked lost in the afterglow of ecstasy. He gazed at Lin Jianyuan, dazed, and let out a low, hoarse sound: "Ah…" Lin Jianyuan: "?" What was with this weirdo? Wait, who was this guy? Tall, pale, and skinny. And showing up here, right now… Could it be— He was— Did the shock cure my mental illness and now I can see what my wife really looks like?! Lin Jianyuan’s breath caught, eyes wide. Heart racing, he stepped forward, about to ask if this man was his wife. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of pink. “……” A digestive system floated silently in midair. It locked eyes with Lin Jianyuan as he turned. Lin Jianyuan: "?" "Lin Jianyuan." The digestive system's voice was lower than he'd ever heard, and the anger in it was unfamiliar. The digestive system ground out the words, "Lin Jianyuan, you get off work and don’t come home? What are you doing!" His wife! It was his wife! His wife!!! So his wife was here! Then everything was fine! That weird guy wasn’t his wife! He knew it—there was no way his mental illness had suddenly cleared up, making his wife look like someone else! Of course he wasn’t cured, he’d just mistaken someone else for him, ha! What a mess! All because of his damn mental illness!!! "Baby!" Lin Jianyuan rushed over, hugging his wife tight. "How did you know I was back? You even came down to meet me! It's boiling out here—let's go home!" Digestive system: "?" Digestive system: "…" The angry, meat-pink shadow vanished in an instant. The pink digestive system was squeezed tight by its human. The pancreas, gallbladder, and intestines—swollen with anger a moment ago—softened all at once. Xie Yu hugged his human back. His human. His voice turned gentle again. He lifted a length of intestine, wiped the sweat from his human’s brow, and said, "It’s hot out, huh? Should we eat lunch out today? The AC’s not on at home." "Sure, baby. What do you want to eat?" Lin Jianyuan grinned, the smile reaching his eyes. He didn’t notice the human-shaped trash behind him, now trussed up tight with a mass of intestines… And immediately flung eight hundred kilometers away.