# Chapter 63 ### Chapter 63: The Statues Finally Get Off Work The next day. The two of them headed to the Bureau together. The Bureau was out in the middle of nowhere, but at least they didn’t have to take the subway. Shi Shaoning had already arranged everything yesterday, so someone was waiting for them at the entrance this morning. “Gentlemen Lin, this way please.” A woman in uniform greeted them with a bright smile and led the way. Lin Jianyuan immediately took a liking to her. Anyone who could call his wife “Mr. Lin” at first meeting was bound for great things. “We’re here. Mr. Lin Jianyuan, please wait here. Your work schedule will be sent to your mobile terminal shortly. Just follow the instructions. Mr. Lin Xieyu, please come with me.” Their guide gestured politely. Xieyu said, “No need. I remember the way.” His roommate barely played coy in front of strangers, speaking in a flat tone, though his appendix wiggled behind his intestines. His roommate said, “You don’t need to show me. I’ll go myself in a bit.” Lin Jianyuan: “Thanks?” His roommate caught on instantly and replied, gentle and polite, “Thank you.” The guide: “!” This Aberrant is crazy strong, but so polite! Weird! Kind of cute! The guide walked off with a smile. His roommate’s duodenum poked out, curious. Lin Jianyuan caught it with a grin, and when he turned, saw his roommate smiling too. His heart brimmed with warmth. Lin Jianyuan looked around. This was where Shi Shaoning had brought him yesterday—the field team’s hot spring spa center. Alright, that wasn’t the official name. It was probably called the lounge. Shi Shaoning said after a mission, you could come here to rest. If you had nothing to do, you could come hang out. Contact with Aberrants led to psychic contamination, and there were many ways to clear it. The stimulant spray worked fastest, but it stank like bug repellent and gave you a headache if you used too much. The gentler option was rest and relaxation. So the Bureau had given the field team the best lounge. Last night when they arrived, the spa was empty. Everyone was probably in their rooms, asleep. Now it was ten in the morning, and the place was crowded. Everyone wore black combat uniforms, drifting out to grab plates and eat the buffet breakfast. “Those uniforms look cool,” Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but think. Combat uniforms had to be custom made. Someone had already measured him, and he’d get his in a couple of days. His roommate glanced at the buffet. The field agents at the buffet looked back at him. Everyone in the field team could see Aberrants with the naked eye, no equipment needed. That was the basic requirement for the job—something like one in ten thousand could do it. Pretty rare. That’s why Lin Jianyuan was assigned to the field team instead of admin. Lin Jianyuan was a bit slow to pick up on the field agents’ energy. But years of office work had taught him to read a room. He could tell, sharp as ever, that the agents were sizing him up: “What are you doing here?” “Let’s go.” Remembering he’d been personally approved from the very top as an S-class Aberrant handler, Lin Jianyuan straightened his back, grabbed his roommate’s hand, and marched over. “Let’s see what they’ve got to eat.” His roommate said, “I can’t wait. I bet it’ll look great.” Lin Jianyuan: “?” Lin Jianyuan blinked, realizing his roommate was “looking” at him. His roommate, amused, “looked” at the buffet, then gave Lin Jianyuan a thorough once-over. Then, delighted, he said, “You’ll look amazing. I can’t wait.” Lin Jianyuan: “…” So that’s what you meant! Lin Jianyuan’s face turned bright red. He didn’t think he had much of a figure—sure, the uniform was cool, but that was the uniform, not him. His roommate really did see him through rose-tinted glasses. Ah, what could he do. A wife is a wife. That’s just how they are\~ Blushing, Lin Jianyuan coughed, then, under everyone’s gaze, took his roommate’s duodenum and led him into the buffet area. Everyone stared. Lin Jianyuan got it. First, his roommate was a glowing pink digestive system. Second, he was holding his roommate’s duodenum. It was normal to him by now, but for everyone else, it was too much. But it was their first day at the Bureau. If his roommate got singled out on day one, how would things go from here? So he stood tall, grabbed two plates, and handed one to his roommate. His roommate smiled softly, extending a gut to take the plate. A field agent nearby couldn’t help himself: “Damn, I must still be dreaming. I just saw a digestive system at the buffet.” Another agent said, “Xie Yu?” His roommate nodded, reserved. The agent looked him up and down. “Heard you have a big appetite. Go easy on the food, the kitchen doesn’t know you’re here.” He paused, then added, “Next time, let the kitchen know before you come.” Lin Jianyuan: “?” His roommate just smiled and said, “Alright.” The two agents loaded up their plates and went to wolf down their food. They kept glancing over. Their eyes screamed, “Hurry up and eat or there’ll be nothing left!” Lin Jianyuan: “…” So that’s what the hostility was about! Lin Jianyuan had to laugh, and the tension melted away. They filled their plates. The Bureau’s food was top notch—the buffet rivaled any five-star hotel, with a full spread, all fresh and hot. They sat and ate for a while. Near eleven, Lin Jianyuan saw people yawning their way out of the lounge, faces sleepy. Lin Jianyuan knew he’d picked the right place to work! Say what you will, but even though everyone looked laid back, they all noticed his roommate the instant he appeared. His roommate’s mark was already registered, so no alarms went off. But the agents, with some sixth sense, all locked onto his roommate like snipers. They froze, stared. Then, in less than a second, looked away. Clearly, everyone knew his roommate was the new hire. Lin Jianyuan could tell they were still wary. But it was just caution, not hostility. That put him at ease. “Babe, did they tell you…” Lin Jianyuan chewed. He didn’t finish. Crash! All around, plates, cups, and chopsticks clattered to the floor. “…when you’re supposed to go?” Lin Jianyuan trailed off, glancing around. Every agent in the buffet had turned to stare at him, faces twisted in shock and confusion. Some looked at him in open awe. Lin Jianyuan: “?” What? Never seen someone call a digestive system “babe”? His roommate propped his chin in his hand, smiling gently. “As long as I’m in the Bureau, I’m working.” As if to prove it, Lin Jianyuan felt a tap-tap under his foot. Something knocked from beneath the floor. It made his sole itch through his shoe. Had to be his roommate’s mischievous small intestine. Lin Jianyuan laughed, tapped his roommate’s liver. “Stop it! It tickles and I can’t scratch it! So if I’m not on a mission, you’ll be with me at work?” His roommate: “That’s right.” Lin Jianyuan glanced at his work schedule: orientation training at two in the afternoon. Training until three thirty. Twenty-minute tea break. More training until four thirty. That was it. That was his entire day—just orientation. But that didn’t stop him from enjoying the Bureau’s perks. The lounge was always open to him. “I almost feel guilty,” Lin Jianyuan said, embarrassed. “I’m just eating and drinking for free.” His roommate said nothing. Two seconds later, his appendix gave a lazy wiggle. His roommate: “Hm?” His roommate was a beat slow. Lin Jianyuan rubbed his belly and laughed, “Full and sleepy?” His roommate said, “Just now, \[Hesitation] tried to run. I grabbed it, smashed it on the floor, and put it back.” Lin Jianyuan’s hand froze mid-belly rub. So sudden! So violent! Wait. His roommate was actually working! Remotely! Turns out his roommate was the real breadwinner. He sat in the cafeteria while his guts rampaged through the deepest containment cells. His roommate was the one bringing home the bacon. Lin Jianyuan was just along for the ride! Once again, Lin Jianyuan was awed by his roommate’s S-class power. “Why’d you stop?” His roommate pouted, leaning in. His belly rubbed against Lin Jianyuan’s palm. Lin Jianyuan: “\~” Oh well, he could be a sidekick. His wife was this cute—what was wrong with being her little digestive mascot? “You don’t have class until two.” His roommate, drowsy from the belly rub, draped his esophagus across Lin Jianyuan’s arm like a sleepy snake. “So what do we do now?” Lin Jianyuan: “Nap?” “Okay!” His roommate sounded pleased. “Let’s nap!” He really did look sleepy. But his roommate hadn’t eaten much at the buffet. Well, not the human buffet, anyway. As for the Aberrants in the containment cells below, always plotting escape… Lin Jianyuan silently mourned the poor snacks down there. The hot spring area had plenty of lounge chairs and private nap rooms. The whole place was warm and steamy, perfect for sleeping. Lin Jianyuan opened the door to an empty nap room, about to enter, when his roommate stopped him. “There’s someone inside,” his roommate said. Lin Jianyuan was surprised. “Who? There’s just a few decorative statues—what the hell!” A row of statues inside: “What the hell!” Statue A: “I must be dreaming! The digestive system came to nap!” Statue B: “Isn’t that Xie Yu? Since when did S-class Aberrants overrun our Bureau and invade the nap rooms?” Statue C: “Wait, this guy’s got a wristband—he’s one of us!” Statue D: “Bro, why are you holding Xie Yu? Is it your minion? Are you S-class? When did our Bureau get an S-class agent? Sorry, I’m ossified and can’t stand up to greet you…” Prompted by D, statues A, B, and C all tried to look at the device on Lin Jianyuan’s wrist. But their necks were stiff from ossification, so they couldn’t crane their heads. They could only strain their optic nerves. Lin Jianyuan said modestly, “He’s not my minion. I’m just a new D-class field agent. But he really is S-class. He’s my wife\~” All the statues: “???” That’s it. They must be suffering S-class Aberrant psychic contamination. Otherwise, how could they see a human call a pile of digestive organs his wife? Anyway, after a quick introduction, the statues accepted that Xie Yu was Lin Jianyuan’s wife… Like hell they did!!! How could anyone in this world fall in love with a digestive system! It’s a digestive system! A digestive system!!! Being statues, they couldn’t make faces. Only their trembling eyeballs could express their feelings. “Alright, enough about that.” Lin Jianyuan had no intention of showing off for new colleagues. He got serious. “So what are you guys doing here? Is this some new wellness routine?” He’d heard of qigong and animal mimicry in traditional medicine. Biomimicry could be used to build planes. Maybe there was a reason for field agents to become statues? Lin Jianyuan asked with genuine curiosity. The statues: “…” They burst into tears. And so Lin Jianyuan heard a tale of misery. They’d been stuck as statues for days! They hadn’t showered in days! Even though their metabolism was so low they didn’t need food or water, they still felt starving! To make it worse, their bastard teammates would bring in barbecue, fried chicken, and spicy noodles, waving it under their noses: “Smells amazing, don’t you want a bite?” “Don’t! You! Want! A! Bite!” It’s not like they didn’t want to! Of course they did! They wanted to punch someone. Waaah. The mighty battle statues wept like tough guys with broken hearts. Lin Jianyuan: “.” The more he listened, the more familiar it sounded. Why did this sound just like his calcium-supplementing mood lamp at home? “Babe…” Lin Jianyuan turned to whisper to his roommate—only to find him gone. “?!” Lin Jianyuan shot to his feet, face pale. Panic flared up inside him. But his roommate reappeared. Lin Jianyuan opened his mouth, but the panic melted away the moment he saw him. “Where did you go? You scared me,” Lin Jianyuan said, heart still pounding. His roommate leaned in and whispered, “I snuck home and brought back \[Bone Sonata].” “We’re so in sync,” Lin Jianyuan said, calming down. “I was just about to mention it.” Lin Jianyuan brought out a small piece of \[Bone Sonata] and showed it to the statues. The anxious Lego bricked up in fear. The battle statues’ marble eyes widened in shock. What? What did you say you’re holding? \[Bone Sonata]? The A-class Aberrant \[Bone Sonata]—the one that wiped out our whole squad without even showing itself?! What happened to the D-class newbie story? You’re just holding an A-class Aberrant in your hand! Is that allowed? Is that allowed!!! The statues fell into a strange silence. …Forget it. If this D-class newbie is dating an S-class Aberrant, we’ll just let him be… Lin Jianyuan turned on the mood lamp, letting Lego collect their calcium as he apologized, “Sorry, guys, I didn’t know you were here—um, statuing. My bad. Next time, I’ll treat you to a meal…” As soon as the ossification ended, everyone collapsed like puppets with their strings cut. They all flopped to the floor, sighing in relief. Once Lego finished collecting calcium, it burrowed into Lin Jianyuan’s sleeve, making his wrist itch. He pulled Lego out and dangled it. “Hey, quick question—do I need to register this in the containment zone, or…” He stopped mid-sentence. The ex-statues on the floor all looked up. One said, “That’s not registered?” Another: “Impossible. \[Bone Sonata]’s mark was cracked ages ago. It’s still wanted. This is Bureau HQ! There are tens of thousands of detectors…” Lin Jianyuan scratched his head, watching the agents get up, faces grim and suspicious. He realized they were all thinking the same thing. \[Bone Sonata] wasn’t whitelisted, and it was still wanted. So how had it made it all the way into Bureau HQ, past tens of thousands of detectors, and yet… Not a single alarm had gone off? If Lin Jianyuan hadn’t brought it in himself, but it had snuck in on its own… It might not have wiped everyone out— —but at least a few thousand staff would have ended up as statues.