Chapter 10

Chapter 10 Waaah waaaah waaaah!

"Hey bro, look what I brought!" Pei Shuo said mysteriously as he pulled a basketball out of his backpack.

Lin Jianyuan: "You going to play?"

"Heh heh, wanna go this afternoon? It's Friday anyway. I invited a few classmates." Pei Shuo grinned brightly.

Lin Jianyuan: "No, no, you guys are all young—"

Pei Shuo: "You're not that many years older than us!"

Lin Jianyuan: "...I'd be at a real disadvantage playing with you."

Pei Shuo: .

After a one-second pause, Pei Shuo burst out laughing, nudged Lin Jianyuan with his shoulder and grinned wickedly, "Don't chicken out, bro. Relax—we're not gonna beat you to death! You're an elder—we'll show you some respect!"

Lin Jianyuan snorted, tossed over a USB drive and said, "Cut the crap. Go print and bind ten copies of this."

"Okay!" Pei Shuo sprang to his feet, full of energy. "It's a deal! After the game we'll grab a meal! I've been wanting to treat you to dinner for ages, bro!" With that he ran off toward the printer, wagging his tail.

Lin Jianyuan shook his head with a smile and went back to his work.

"Waaah—" The wall beside the workstation continued to make noise.

Lin Jianyuan seemed not to hear it and was absorbed in his tasks.

“?” Squishy thief was a little puzzled; it looked at Lin Jianyuan, then at the wall, and its antennae couldn't help scratching its head.

What's going on? Why's he in such a good mood today?

Could it be because he's going to play basketball this afternoon?

...Makes sense. The day I met that violent maniac, he spent the whole day cleaning up after that dumbass Jiang Chen—no wonder he's ill-tempered.

Squishy thief couldn't help but sigh about its own miserable fate.

Wall: "I'm so miserable..."

Squishy thief said in surprise, "So you can say things other than 'waaah'?"

Wall: "..."

That exchange seemed to open the wall's floodgates; afterwards, its sobbing started to be laced with heaps of self-pity.

The sadness radiated outward like fallout, and the entire office was instantly shrouded in a haze of gloom.

"Waaah..." Qin Shi suddenly started sniffling, constantly dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"What's wrong?" Lin Jianyuan looked up.

Qin Shi: "Nothing, nothing—just suddenly remembered that heartbreaking story I read last night. My ship got so badly treated, sob..."

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

"Waaah!!!" Account manager Su Zhiwei suddenly let out a brawny roar.

Lin Jianyuan was startled and snapped, "What's wrong with you now!"

"I'm so upset too! I only wrote two typos and the client actually made me write a reflection!"

Su Zhiwei's fierce eyes were brimming with tears, his face flushed and neck thick with indignation: "I'm thirty years old! And I'm still writing reflections! I'm so miserable! How pathetic am I, sob!"

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

This time the client was a rather meticulous Chinese teacher, so there was nothing to be done.

Caught up in the mood, the whole office started to sob.

They sobbed so much they stopped working, hugging one another and crying their eyes out.

Pei Shuo came running back carrying a stack of bound documents; seeing the scene, he looked completely bewildered. "What's going on? What's going on?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Work stuff."

Pei Shuo: "?"

The golden retriever couldn't stand to see humans suffer; he panted over, huffing and puffing, and went to comfort everyone.

Lin Jianyuan, meanwhile, kept working as if none of it concerned him.

Squishy thief couldn't watch it anymore and snapped, "They're all crying like this and you don't do anything?!"

"Who doesn't lose it at work?" Lin Jianyuan replied with understanding. "Crying to vent is fine. I just don't cry — otherwise I'd be halfway to losing my mind."

Squishy thief: "……"

"Wah wah heh, wah wah heh heh…" Amid the wall of sobs, faint laughter could be heard.

Too bad the wall had no face — otherwise it would be wearing a sleazy, smug grin right now.

Squishy thief glanced at the wall, then at the unruffled Lin Jianyuan, and couldn't help pounding his chest in frustration again.

Why is he so…emotionally stable today!!!

Wasn't he supposed to be a violent maniac? Why isn't he exploding?!

Aren't you about to blow a gasket? Go beat it to death! God, I'm freaking out here!

Under the weight of the sad atmosphere, no matter how golden retriever Pei Shuo tried to comfort them, nobody was moved; they kept crying in a lump.

Pei Shuo could only trudge back with his head down.

"Where are we playing tonight?" Lin Jianyuan asked.

"Ah, the court next door. Not far—just two or three subway stops." Successfully distracted; the young man sent a map pin and enthusiastically started talking basketball with Lin Jianyuan.

Lin Jianyuan used to play basketball a lot in college, but since he joined this company after graduation, he'd been out of luck.

Busy as a dog every day—forget exercise; when it gets hectic he doesn't even have time to eat.

Lately he could clearly feel his stamina dropping, especially when dealing with stupid bullshit—he'd get chest-tight and short of breath easily.

He was actually afraid that one day he'd run into a super, unbelievably colossal idiot who would piss him off so much he'd faint on the spot and die. That would be one hell of a pain in the ass.

"I really need to work out," Lin Jianyuan said.

Qin Shi and Su Zhiwei had cried themselves dry and, sniffling, went back to their desks.

Lin Jianyuan glanced over and suddenly sensed something off.

"!" The squishy thief perked up instantly. Is it coming? Is it coming? Is the part we've been waiting for finally here?!

Lin Jianyuan stood up, walked over to Qin Shi's desk, frowned, and asked, "Where have you been these last couple of days?"

Qin Shi croaked, "Huh?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Why are your eyes so… strained? They're all bloodshot—you can barely see the whites."

Qin Shi: "?"

Squishy Thief: "??"

Qin Shi, half amused and half exasperated, rubbed her eyes: "Didn't I just cry a moment ago?!"

Pei Shuo came over too: "Nope, they were like that before you cried! Actually I wanted to say just now—Qin Shi jiejie, your eyes are so red, like a little bunny."

Qin Shi: "……"

Lin Jianyuan: "……" He couldn't help shooting Pei Shuo a look.

Damn, this kid looks innocent and pure, but turns out he's a pro at flirting with older sisters. Calling her "a little bunny"—could that be any cheesier?

Lin Jianyuan plucked the vine-like things out of Qin Shi's eyes and tossed them aside.

He noticed Su Zhiwei had the same in his eyes, so he walked over, pulled them out too, and tossed them away.

"Work belongs to the company, your eyes belong to you," Lin Jianyuan said. "Drink some goji berry tea."

“I'm having tea, I'm having tea.” Qin Shi lifted a delicate white porcelain teacup. “Goji, chrysanthemum, and cassia seed tea—good for the liver, sharpens the eyes, and even lowers cholesterol. Want some?”

Lin Jianyuan waved him off and went back to his desk to keep working.

“Waaah…” The wall’s crying continued to assault his ears.

Lin Jianyuan suddenly looked up.

Squishy thief: “!”

Lin Jianyuan turned his head toward Qin Shi and mused, “That vine can grow even after leaving a body?”

It sounded like a question to him. The squishy thief quickly answered, “Yep, yep. Eye Vines prefer human eyeballs, but they can live elsewhere too. They're pretty hard to kill.”

Lin Jianyuan: “They actually look better soaking in a teacup than in an eyeball.”

Squishy thief: “?”

It was true. When Lin Jianyuan had just yanked those vine bits out, they were only two or three centimeters long; in the blink of an eye they'd shot to five or six, and two tendrils were already crawling over the rim of the white porcelain cup.

Lin Jianyuan walked over. The squishy thief wasn’t sure what words were exchanged, but Qin Shi generously handed Lin Jianyuan the cup along with a few tea bags.

The vines, steeping in the goji–chrysanthemum–cassia tea, grew at a rate you could see with the naked eye. After watching for a long moment, Lin Jianyuan sighed, “This tea really does clear the eyes.”

“Waaah!” The wall kept wailing loudly.

Squishy thief: “……”

Stop fussing over that herbal health tea! Can't you hear whatever's in the wall? Doesn't it annoy you?! Why aren't you hitting it? Hit it! Rip into it! I'm freaking out here, seriously!

The vines soon looked like a little potted plant. Lin Jianyuan set it beside his computer; the lush green was actually quite pleasing to the eye.

With the nourishment of the goji–chrysanthemum–cassia tea, the Eye Vines didn't seem in any hurry to burrow into people's eyes.

They'd completely degenerated into an easy-care office houseplant—no worries required.

They were even aquatic—no watering needed!

“Why do my eyes feel so much better after staring at them for a while?”

Lin Jianyuan felt light and amused. “What’s this? When you're poor you turn to robbing houses, and when you're successful you do good for the world?”

Squishy thief: “…You'd be the only person in the whole world keeping Eye Vines as a houseplant…”

Lin Jianyuan: “So Eye Vines only affect vision? Compared to you it's pathetic.”

“Exactly.” squishy thief suddenly puffed out his chest, proudly. “Because it's D-class and I'm A-class—obviously I'm the stronger one!”

Lin Jianyuan: “Oh.”

Lin Jianyuan went back to work.

Squishy thief couldn't hold it in after a moment and said, “Why don't you ask me about Aberrant rankings? Aren't you even a little curious? This is the truth of the world!”

Lin Jianyuan: “None of my damn business.”

The truth of the world had nothing to do with an office drone—wage slaves just wanted to finish their work and get off early.

He still had plans to play ball with Pei Shuo today. Lin Jianyuan hadn't played in ages; seeing the basketball actually made his hands itch.

Evening rolled around; Lin Jianyuan checked the time, was about to tell Pei Shuo to pack up when his phone suddenly buzzed.

Jiang Chen: [Come to my office.]

Lin Jianyuan felt the world go dark.

"Yuan-ge?" Pei Shuo turned. "What's up?"

Lin Jianyuan ground his teeth. "That idiot Jiang Chen just called me."

"What?" Pei Shuo's handsome face fell for a beat, then he snapped his expression back and tried to reassure him, "It's fine, bro—probably nothing. There's still ten minutes until we leave, no rush."

Lin Jianyuan stomped into Jiang Chen's office full of resentment. Jiang Chen was packing up too; when he saw him he said, "I've finished looking over the pitch for the Laif wellness kettle. Overall it's good, but it's missing something. Tweak it."

Lin Jianyuan took a deep breath. "You finished reading it?"

Jiang Chen pulled on his coat. "Yeah."

Holding his anger down, Lin Jianyuan snapped, "The proposal I handed you on Wednesday and you didn't read it until Friday near quitting time? And then you tell me it's 'missing something' and make me fix it?!"

A balloon seemed to swell in his chest; his heart pounded so hard he felt like it might smash out of his ribs and beat this idiot to a pulp. "If I'm not mistaken, the deadline's nine a.m. next Monday, right?"

Jiang Chen muttered, "I didn't tell you to work overtime. There's the weekend—take it home and change it then."

Bang!

Lin Jianyuan lunged forward, grabbed Jiang Chen by the collar and bellowed, "Change it over the weekend?!"

"W-what are you—!" Jiang Chen flailed, panicked. "I warn you, don't get physical! Don't think I won't hit you just because you're crazy! Try it!"

Lin Jianyuan sneered and pointed at the desk. "Sit."

Jiang Chen: "Why?"

Lin Jianyuan smiled. "You're the one who said it needed changes—and you didn't say what's wrong. Here's how we'll do it: I'll change it right now, you review it right away, so we don't delay Monday's report. Mr. Jiang, does that work for you?"

He was saying "Mr. Jiang" with his mouth while his hand shoved Jiang Chen down into the executive chair.

"Ugh!" Jiang Chen was so frightened he couldn't even draw a proper breath.

Lin Jianyuan had pushed so hard that Jiang Chen nearly toppled the whole chair and himself backward.

Of course lunatics are always super strong! This is terrifying!

"Mr. Jiang—do—you—think—this—works?" Lin Jianyuan grinned, his eyes practically strangling him.

"Uh—ah." Jiang Chen, still shaking, clutched his wildly pounding little heart. "Okay, okay, okay, just—go, hurry!"

Lin Jianyuan slapped Jiang Chen's office door shut behind him and stormed downstairs, all ire and thunder.

Pei Shuo saw him radiating a dark cloud and rushed over. Lin Jianyuan told him flatly what happened and finished with, "You go ahead."

Pei Shuo: "It's fine, bro—I can help you with it!"

Lin Jianyuan: "You weren't on this project—you weren't here when I handled it single-handedly. You can't help."

Pei Shuo was taken aback, a little at a loss.

Lin Jianyuan waved him off. "Go on, have fun. If I finish early I'll come over."

Pei Shuo hesitated for a second. He knew Lin Jianyuan hated fussiness, so he said, "Alright. Good luck—don't get too angry; it isn't good for your health. I'm off, bro."

The other colleagues shot sympathetic looks his way and filed out one after another.

Before long the huge office was left with only Lin Jianyuan—and that inhuman beast on the second floor.

Lin Jianyuan rebooted the already-shut-down computer and, waiting, jabbed his fingers impatiently on the desk.

Squishy thief knew he was in a terrible mood and didn't dare speak, afraid of setting off this violent maniac again.

When humans are emotionally unsteady, they're most vulnerable to being exploited.

The thing inside the wall knew that too, so a thin, sharp crying began again.

"Wah wah wah... I'm so miserable, wah wah wah wah..."

A sound both resentful and yearning, like weeping and pleading!

"I've been trapped in this wall for so long... someone please help me... sob sob... I can't move, it's so awful, sob sob sob..."

As it cried and filled in its story, dark, viscous negative emotions—like a gathering cloud—slowly crept toward the only lit workstation.

The thick black aura made the Eye Vines in the wellness teapot shiver; their leaves curled shut, recoiling instinctively.

The sticky black mist, carrying the sobbing, wound itself around Lin Jianyuan's ears.

“……”

Smack!

Lin Jianyuan crushed the mouse in his hand and roared, "Shut up! You're driving me crazy!"

The crying from the wall froze, even popping out a startled sob-hiccup.

Squishy thief was just as stunned, watching with wide eyes as Lin Jianyuan stood, snatched up the office chair, and strode menacingly toward the crying wall.

After a brief daze, squishy thief suddenly snapped to attention!

Finally! He's making a move!

At last—it's reached the part it loves most!

Lin Jianyuan finally blew his top!!!