Chapter 7

Chapter 7: I Could Tell at a Glance This Was My Squeeze Toy!

Lin Jianyuan retrieved his phone, tried to sleep again but the drowsiness was gone. He was still exhausted, though, and with a frustrated curse he had no choice but to get up.

Back in the studio he asked Pei Shuo, "How'd it go?"

"No problem!" Pei Shuo flashed an OK sign.

Lin Jianyuan nodded and sat back down beside him.

Maybe that little nap helped—this time Lin Jianyuan felt like time wasn't passing so strangely.

The two-hour sentence flew by and everyone was collectively released. The director stood, stretching, and said, "Okay! That's a wrap!"

"Yay!"

"I'm dead tired—I’m gonna go eat skewers! Anyone coming?"

"Let's go, which place? Who's driving? I need a ride!"

No matter when it is, clock-out is always the most harmonious moment for the working crowd.

Everyone forgot the earlier fights over "the poster wasn't aligned" and "who the hell changed the teleprompter—didn't anyone see the banned words?"

People paired off in threes and twos, faces showing a mix of fatigue and relief, and gradually left the studio.

Lin Jianyuan remembered he'd left something behind and went to the adjacent break room. He pushed the door open to find Jiang Chen sprawled out, mouth agape, snoring loudly. There was even a half-eaten fruit platter by the sofa—that bastard really knew how to indulge himself.

The room was full of noise—not just snores, but a chorus of ribbits from frogs hopping everywhere.

Those frogs crawling across the floor were a little disgusting the first time he saw them, but he’d gotten used to them.

He hadn't closed the door when he came in; glancing back he saw his coworkers still leaving in clusters, chatting and laughing—nobody had noticed this room.

Not even two frogs that had hopped onto someone's instep as they left got any reaction. That proved, beyond doubt, that these frogs were hallucinations again.

The more Lin Jianyuan stared at the soundly sleeping Jiang Chen, the angrier he got—he wanted nothing more than to drag him out of bed and give him a good beating.

Damn it—he and Pei Shuo had been slaving over the livestream, wiping up Jiang Chen's messes, and this idiot was just here, comfortable as can be, sleeping the whole night away!

And like Pei Shuo said—don't expect a "thank you," that bastard hadn’t even bought them a cup of coffee! Overtime pay was iffy too; given Jiang Chen's character, he’d never admit his own mistake. If he didn't pin the blame on Pei Shuo, that would already be something...

Fuck!

Lin Jianyuan felt like his chest might explode. At that moment he remembered Doctor Cen's parting advice:

"Do whatever you want to do!"

(Doctor Cen never actually said that.)

Lin Jianyuan decisively followed the "advice": he bent down, grabbed a frog, and with a squelch stuffed it into Jiang Chen's open mouth!

Finally having done what he'd been wanting to do all along, Lin Jianyuan felt a lot better.

He wiped his hands and was about to leave when his eyes fell on the heap of frogs on the floor.

Damn it—after dealing with this all day, he wasn't going to walk away empty-handed!

Lin Jianyuan turned back decisively and began scooping up frogs from the floor—forcibly collecting his overtime pay.

For some reason there was an orangey-red mesh bag in the break room. Lin Jianyuan bent down and filled the whole bag with frogs, then left.

"Yuan-ge, how are you getting home?" Pei Shuo asked—oblivious to the bag full of frogs in Lin Jianyuan's hands.

Lin Jianyuan: "You're driving, right?"

Pei Shuo: "Huh?"

Lin Jianyuan: "Aren't Jiang Chen's car keys still with you?"

Pei Shuo suddenly realized. He gave a sly grin, glanced at Jiang Chen fast asleep in the lounge, and thumbed-up at Lin Jianyuan.

Pei Shuo walked Lin Jianyuan to the building entrance; it was already midnight. The complex was pin-drop silent, with only a handful of windows still lit.

They said their goodbyes, and Lin Jianyuan went home carrying a mesh bag full of croaking frogs.

The lock swallowed the key smoothly. Lin pushed the door open and the familiar voice in the living room sounded again.

"You’re back."

"What, are you some kind of automatic answering system?" Lin Jianyuan mocked, tossing the frog bag onto the shoe cabinet.

After a whole day of chaos, Lin Jianyuan was already used to The pink digestive system.

"You," The pink digestive system tilted its "head" slightly, as if sniffing the air, "you smell strong."

Lin Jianyuan looked at it suspiciously and couldn't help lifting his arm to sniff himself.

It's fine—no real smell. At most a little sweat; he'd been running around all day.

Is this guy that sensitive? Does he have obsessive-cleanliness issues?

Having a cleanliness thing is fine—better than being filthy. Lin Jianyuan decisively pulled out a pen and paper and said, "Let's divide chores. You clean your own room; we take turns on the common areas—living room, kitchen, bathroom. Deep clean once a week? Can you live with that?"

The pink digestive system: "?"

The pink digestive system seemed to find the proposal amusing and said with a hint of a smile, "Okay."

Lin Jianyuan thought this new roommate was pretty easy to get along with—he just hoped it would actually happen when it came to doing the chores.

Lin Jianyuan yawned and went to shower. A moment later he came out in briefs, toweling his hair as he headed toward his room.

As he passed the living room he froze as if struck by lightning.

What did he see?

The pink digestive system was eating a frog!

The orange-red mesh bag was opened; The pink digestive system's intestines coiled like a snake around a frog, ripped the skin off with a tearing sound, and shoved it into its mouth.

"What's up?" The pink digestive system tilted its "head."

"Holy shit! What are you doing?!" Lin Jianyuan couldn't believe it, watching another frog having its skin peeled away to reveal muscles like a naked man's body.

The skinned frog was still struggling, and The pink digestive system opened its mouth and swallowed it in one bite.

Its pink throat bulged slightly as the frog slid down the esophagus into the stomach pouch. The intestines writhed with apparent pleasure, gurgling.

"I'm hungry," The pink digestive system said.

Crap!

This new roommate was the kind who would blatantly help themselves to other people's stuff and eat it!

No—wait, this is a frog! And it's raw! It's even alive!

It seemed to be more serious than just "boldly eating other people's things"...

His roommate was swallowing live frogs, ahhh!

Hold on, there’s another problem—

"Can you see this?!" Lin Jianyuan exclaimed, shaking the frog bag in front of it.

"Of course," The pink digestive system said. "I'm not blind."

Lin Jianyuan: "……"

Man and digestive system stared at each other in silence. Though it might have been one-sided—Lin didn't know where his strange roommate's eyeballs were looking; he couldn't see them at all.

The pink digestive system: "Are you angry?"

Lin Jianyuan: "……"

It wasn't exactly anger.

He just felt kind of grossed out.

This is so disgusting!!! How can you eat a live frog raw!!!

Lin Jianyuan nearly shouted, but his reason stopped him before he could roar.

After four days' experience as a psychiatric patient, he immediately realized—no, this must be a hallucination again! A cognitive glitch!

The live frog he saw couldn't possibly look like a frog to his roommate! It had to be something else...

He glanced at the orange-red mesh bag holding the "frog"—and it all clicked in an instant! Everything suddenly made sense!

Oh—he knew what it was!

—it was a clementine!

That peel-and-eat thing had to be a clementine!

Yes, yes, yes—now everything was reasonable! It wouldn't look out of place on a meeting table, and it could easily appear on the break room fruit platter!

Having figured it all out, Lin Jianyuan felt an immediate wash of relief.

"You can't eat it?" The pink digestive system sighed, wrapping the half-eaten frog in a strip of intestine and listlessly setting it back on the table.

"It's not that you can't. It's just—could you not...eat it raw?" Lin Jianyuan couldn't bear to look. "I can't stand watching someone eat that alive."

The pink digestive system: "?"

Lin Jianyuan could picture his roommate definitely giving him a weird look.

While he was still working out how to explain, The pink digestive system said, "Fine."

The pink digestive system took the mesh bag into the kitchen. Start—stir—fry—cook.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Flames leapt from the stove; Lin Jianyuan watched, incredulous, as The pink digestive system wrapped a length of intestine around the wok handle and expertly flipped the spatula.

Before long, his roommate carried out a plate of perfectly aromatic, richly sauced stir-fried frog.

Lin Jianyuan stared in disbelief at the steaming plate, the glossy red sauce gleaming—somehow it actually looked tempting.

Lin Jianyuan: "..." Suddenly he was hungry.

"Want some?" The pink digestive system asked pleasantly.

"I won’t stand on ceremony, then," Lin Jianyuan replied.

"What are you being all polite about," The pink digestive system chuckled, "you brought it back."

"You cooked it."

To prove by action that he had no interest in the stir-fried frog/clementine, Lin Jianyuan hurried back to his room.

He found his roommate surprisingly tolerant of his odd request—after all, it really was a clementine.

Though in Lin Jianyuan's eyes it was a live frog, in reality it was a clementine!

Stir-fried clementines—who could stomach that?

Anyone who thought to stir-fry clementines is a little crazy.

This roommate—definitely a keeper!

Lin Jianyuan's opinion of his roommate improved, and lying in bed he felt much better.

That night.

After taking his medicine, Lin Jianyuan fell into a deep sleep; the few remaining lights in the complex went out one by one.

In the dark, a flesh-red shadow slowly approached the entryway. It lowered itself.

The pressure felt almost tangible, causing whatever was stuck to the sole of the shoe to tremble.

"Time Thief?" the voice from the shadow said. "You shouldn't be here."

"Blight Realm—" the voice beneath the sole gasped, "N-no-no-not me! I didn't do it on purpose! Do I look like I did this willingly?! That Lin-whatever dragged me back here by force!!!"

"You know the consequences of invading my territory, don't you?" the tone laced with mockery.

"No!" the voice under the sole screamed in despair. "I would never covet your food! Our recipes are totally different, I'm begging you, please—"

The voice cut off abruptly.

The next day.

Lin Jianyuan slept soundly for the first time in ages. He got up in the morning, went to wash up, and didn't run into that odd roommate.

Probably still asleep.

Lin Jianyuan brushed his teeth and washed his face, changed clothes and was about to leave. Just before heading out he suddenly noticed a small object on the table.

A squishy toy.

A snail-shaped squishy.

Lin Jianyuan: “?”

He paused for a second, then decisively shoved it into his pocket.

—The snail I stepped on and crushed yesterday has turned into a squishy and appeared in my house today. Need I ask? It's definitely me relapsing again!

—I could tell at a glance this is my squishy!