Chapter 69

Chapter 69: Digestive System Takes a Flight

The flight was at 10 in the morning.

The next morning, Lin Jianyuan woke up on his own before the alarm could ring.

He was surprised he could even wake up naturally.

After all, he hadn’t gotten home until almost three in the morning.

Thank goodness he’d packed his suitcase ahead of time, or they wouldn’t have been able to go straight to bed.

Even so, he’d still tossed and turned for a long while before falling asleep.

Maybe he was just overtired.

His throat was sore too. He realized he hadn’t had a sip of water all night, his mouth so dry it felt like it might catch fire.

All for this job.

Forget it, for a monthly salary of 200,000, he’d put up with anything!

Lin Jianyuan got up feeling refreshed and found his roommate already making breakfast.

Not only was his roommate up early cooking for him, even the house’s cleaning robot was buzzing past his feet.

Even the robot was clocking in early!

Lin Jianyuan watched the robot diligently mopping and couldn’t help being surprised.

He headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and called out, “Honey, why’s the floor getting mopped so early?”

Their robot was smart, with programmable daily tasks.

Lin Jianyuan had discovered this feature while playing with the app with his wife, so he’d set the cleaning schedule to a fixed time every day.

The first time he turned it on, he’d sent the robot on a full-house deep clean.

Before it even finished, the water tank had already run dry. Lin Jianyuan had wondered, is this tank really that tiny?

But after that, it was fine.

Maybe the house had just been dirty that first time, and after that, he’d only set it to clean the rooms they used daily.

Mainly the bedroom, living room, and kitchen.

So now, he only needed to refill the water every couple of days and change the dirty water.

It was pretty convenient.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt buying this robot had been the right call.

First, he never had to sweep or mop again.

And every time he came home from work to see the robot still toiling away, he got a little thrill, like a ruthless boss squeezing every drop of labor.

If he had to work overtime, then so did the robot!

If his wife had to suffer through overtime, why should the robot get a pass?

“We’re going on vacation, remember?” his roommate said, flipping eggs in the kitchen with practiced ease. “So I turned off the daily cleaning. No one’s home these days, so there’s no need.”

“You didn’t have to get up so early, though.”

“But I have to watch it,” his roommate replied. “If it passes by the power cords, it might suck them up, then it’ll start screeching its head off.”

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

He froze for a second, then burst out laughing.

He rushed over and hugged his roommate from behind, nuzzling his nose against their throat. “Why are you so cute? You always use so many interjections, and now you’re adding sound effects too.”

His roommate blinked. “Is ‘screeching its head off’ a sound effect?”

Lin Jianyuan said, “Not ‘screeching its head off’—I mean all your ‘wah wahs’ and ‘crash booms.’ You’re just too adorable. How are you so good at being cute?”

His roommate turned and kissed the tip of his nose, then said softly, “Because when I act cute, you become even cuter.”

Lin Jianyuan: "?!"

Wait, what?

Was he really getting hit with this much sweetness first thing in the morning?

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t take it. He clutched his chest and collapsed, his heart full of pink bubbles.

His roommate grinned and pinched his cheek. “See? Just like now.”

“Alright, enough!” Lin Jianyuan’s face flushed bright red. “I can’t stand it. You’re doing this on purpose, you little tease!”

“What’s a tease?”

“What you’re doing right now is teasing~”

“Aren’t you teasing too?”

“I learned it from you. You’ve corrupted me.”

“Why do you blame everything on me?” his roommate laughed, poking him with the handle of the spatula. “Are you ever going to recover?”

Lin Jianyuan took a blow straight to the liver.

This time he really clutched his chest and fell over.

Kids, don’t try this at home!

A jab to the liver really does hurt!

Days off work were the best.

For this trip, Lin Jianyuan didn’t even need to request time off. He was still in the onboarding phase.

This stage allowed for online courses, so attendance wasn’t mandatory.

Just to be safe, Lin Jianyuan had added several new colleagues from training on WeChat.

He quickly realized everyone was thinking the same thing.

The office was way too far. If you could avoid going in, you did!

So he happily wheeled his suitcase out the door.

This trip, Lin Jianyuan wanted to give his roommate a taste of human life.

He’d noticed yesterday at the night market how much his roommate enjoyed these human experiences.

His roommate was like a little ball of curiosity.

Lin Jianyuan remembered the first time they went to the supermarket together. His roommate had been just as fascinated.

That wide-eyed wonder at everything was impossibly cute.

So this time, Lin Jianyuan chose to fly instead of teleport.

Of course, flying was one thing.

But there was no need to experience the traffic jam on the way to the airport…

He got plenty of that every time he commuted to work.

So with a swoosh—

They were at the airport!

“Baby, give me your ID. I’ll get our boarding passes.” Lin Jianyuan wheeled his suitcase to the self-check-in kiosk.

His roommate pulled the ID out of his gallbladder.

His roommate was keeping more and more things in that gallbladder.

No matter how many times he saw it, it never stopped being funny.

The funniest part was, no matter how much went in, the gallbladder always looked small and soft.

It must be some kind of storage space, like a pocket dimension with infinite capacity.

So just how mad had he been yesterday, to puff up his infinite-capacity gallbladder like that during overtime?

The more Lin Jianyuan thought about it, the funnier it seemed.

His roommate watched him, tail swaying.

When he smiled, his roommate’s mouth quirked up too.

They caught each other’s eye.

Their smiles rippled out, meeting and overlapping like circles in a pond.

The ripples intertwined and grew.

The airport was huge. Maybe because it was the last day of summer break, it was packed and bustling.

At security, Lin Jianyuan said, “Baby, I’ll go first and show you how it’s done. Just follow me, and I’ll wait for you on the other side.”

His roommate waggled his appendix. “Okay.”

Words really did shape your mind.

Call your wife “baby” enough times, and he really starts to feel like your baby.

After clearing security, Lin Jianyuan craned his neck, waiting anxiously just past the checkpoint.

Like a nervous new dad.

He’d been curious about this ever since booking the tickets.

How would his roommate get through security?

Most people couldn’t see his roommate.

Airport security probably didn’t want to see him, either.

His roommate’s answer was: he could shift people’s perceptions so humans “thought” they saw him.

That only made Lin Jianyuan more curious.

What did other people see when they looked at his roommate?

Once they were through, they found a place to wait for boarding.

Lin Jianyuan had booked business class, so they could board early.

Boarding was smooth. The flight attendant smiled as he took his roommate’s boarding pass, and his roommate politely thanked him.

Everything looked perfectly normal.

Except his roommate still looked like a digestive system.

That said—

How on earth were they supposed to fasten this seatbelt?!

Lin Jianyuan was completely stumped.

For humans, the belt went across your lap and torso.

But his roommate had no torso. No legs!

“How do I buckle this?” his roommate asked, holding the belt and wiggling.

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

He broke out in a cold sweat.

He really had no idea!

But a perfect husband couldn’t admit defeat in front of his adorable wife!

Lin Jianyuan calmly threaded the seatbelt through his roommate’s winding intestines.

He looped it in and out, weaving it around like a Chinese knot.

Then clicked it shut.

And that was how the seatbelt went through the intestines.

“All set,” Lin Jianyuan said. “It’s normal for seatbelts to feel uncomfortable. Once we’re in the air and things are smooth, you can take it off.”

“Oh, okay.” His roommate nodded. “Got it.”

Lin Jianyuan: "."

His roommate: "."

Both of them turned away, staring at the sides of their seats.

Two seconds later.

Lin Jianyuan: "Pfft."

His roommate: "Pfft."

Both burst out laughing, unable to stop in their roomy business class seats.

“If you think about it, this doesn’t make sense,” Lin Jianyuan said. “You’re way too soft, and your intestines are so long. If there’s turbulence, this belt wouldn’t hold you at all.”

His roommate’s intestines could stretch for miles.

Really long.

Unbelievably long!

Lin Jianyuan remembered some less-than-dignified moments and covered his face.

His roommate: "Pfft."

His roommate laughed and leaned over to kiss him.

The moment his roommate kissed him, Lin Jianyuan knew they were thinking the same thing.

He rolled his eyes and turned away.

Completely exasperated.

“Alright, alright, stop laughing!” Lin Jianyuan protested, trying to push him away. “You’re so annoying!”

“Annoying?” His roommate hummed, pressing his warm, soft pink digestive system against him. “Annoying?”

“You’re driving me crazy!”

But he couldn’t stop laughing.

It felt like their conversations got dumber every day.

But they were always hilarious.

He couldn’t help but smile every time he saw his roommate.

Their laughter rippled out in waves.

The ripples collided and mixed with each other’s laughter.

Their joy overlapped and multiplied.

Neither of them could stop once they started.

What the hell!

Did falling in love make your sense of humor this weak?

The plane took off, carrying them gently away from the earth.

Lin Jianyuan had chosen a window seat for his roommate.

As the plane climbed, breaking into blue sky and white clouds—

In that moment, everything was bathed in gold.

The sun hung above a sea of clouds, endless white billows frozen like ocean waves.

“Wow…”

His roommate pressed up against the window, letting out a soft gasp.

Lin Jianyuan watched him, smiling.

“So this is what it’s like from a human’s perspective. It really is different.”

Lin Jianyuan’s lips curled up. “Yeah?”

“I love you so much,” his roommate said.

Lin Jianyuan froze.

His roommate kept gazing out at the endless clouds, frozen like waves.

Or like quilts laid out in the sun to dry.

Still looking out the window, his roommate’s appendix swayed as he said, “I love you so much. It’s strange. I know you know, but I just want to say it. Again and again.”

Lin Jianyuan’s face turned bright red in an instant.

His roommate turned his “head” and, seeing his blush, started laughing again.

“I love you.”

His roommate leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“I really like you.”

Lin Jianyuan: "."

Lin Jianyuan quickly grabbed the blanket and threw it over his lap!

His roommate looked surprised. “Are you cold?”

Lin Jianyuan replied calmly, “Yeah. Cold.”

His roommate stretched out his intestines. “Then let’s cuddle.”

Lin Jianyuan turned away, blushing furiously. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Just no.”

“But I want to cuddle.”

“…No whining in public.”

“Hahaha, what do you mean, ‘no whining in public’… That’s so funny. Come on, just a hug.”

“No!”

“But I’m cold too. Hug me.”

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

Lin Jianyuan stared in disbelief at his roommate’s bare digestive system.

Pink, delicate, shining softly.

Of course you’re cold, you’re a digestive system without even a layer of skin!

…In the end, he caved to his roommate’s relentless pleading.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t take it anymore. Face still stern, he flung the blanket open.

He draped it over both of them like a cape.

“Happy now?” Lin Jianyuan said coolly. “You big baby.”

“Hehe.” His roommate snuggled closer, the pink digestive system pressed against him through the blanket and his shirt.

“Is the plane steady now? Can I take off the seatbelt?”

“No. Sit still.”

“I want to sit on your lap.”

“Behave! Stop it! Don’t squeeze… ah… and stop rubbing!”

“Why not? You’re so warm. It feels nice.”

“Just… stop! Stop messing around! Ah…”

Strange noises spilled from the human throat again.

Sounds he didn’t understand.

But they sounded so, so cute.

He was doomed.

Lin Jianyuan shoved his roommate away and, face burning, bolted for the bathroom.

Thinking in despair:

I’m doomed.

This digestive system, he…

He has no shame!