Chapter 42

Chapter 42: Plant Your Lips

The next morning.

When Lin Jianyuan came in, he felt a gentle warmth in his arms. His roommate was curled up against him, soft and warm, fast asleep.

Wait, not his roommate.

His wife.

His roommate was now his wife.

The thought made Lin Jianyuan’s lips curl into a smile.

Even though it was already the next day, it still didn’t feel real.

He’d actually started dating his roommate.

Even though his roommate still looked like a digestive system to him, somehow that digestive system seemed adorable now, no matter how he looked at it.

Love is blind, but falling for a digestive system was absurd, even by his standards.

Still.

After Dr. Cen finished his morning rounds, Lin Jianyuan slipped away alone to the doctor’s office.

“Dr. Cen, can I up my meds? Or do you have something stronger that can get rid of my hallucinations right away?” Lin Jianyuan asked, straight to the point.

Dr. Cen was typing away at his computer, didn’t even look up. “What’s the rush?”

His tone was brisk. Lin Jianyuan sensed he was in a bad mood and said, “Are you busy, Dr. Cen? I can come back later. Do you have time this afternoon?”

Dr. Cen seemed to realize his attitude, paused, and looked up. “What’s going on? Why do you suddenly want to up your meds?”

“Uh.” Lin Jianyuan glanced at the other busy doctors in the big office, scratching his head awkwardly.

Dr. Cen got the hint right away and stood up. “Let’s go talk in the side room.”

Lin Jianyuan knew Dr. Cen was all about efficiency, just like him, so he didn’t hesitate and followed him into the small side room.

The room was bright and clean, with a potted plant on the windowsill that made it feel relaxing.

They walked in, and Lin Jianyuan closed the door behind them.

He got straight to the point. “I’m with my roommate now. Even though he still looks like a digestive system to me, I can kiss him, but actually doing it feels too much. Treating him like, you know, just a sleeve, feels disrespectful.”

Dr. Cen: “Oh.”

Then Dr. Cen: “Wait, what???”

Dr. Cen’s eyes went wide.

It took him three seconds to process.

“Wait, hold on,” Dr. Cen stammered, “How did we jump straight to—how did this become about sleeves???”

Lin Jianyuan looked a little embarrassed.

But for the sake of clarity, he pulled out his phone, found an anatomical diagram of the digestive system, and explained what he meant.

Dr. Cen: “.”

Psychiatrists were trained not to be shocked.

But this time, his jaw was struggling.

“...I see,” Dr. Cen said, his tone complicated. “I understand how you feel.”

Understand—my ass!

Did Lin Jianyuan even realize what he was saying?!

It was one thing to date his own hallucination, but to seriously consider how to have sex with it?

And now he was worried about the dignity of being treated like a sleeve?

Just picture that for a second...

Wait.

Given that Lin Jianyuan’s roommate was a hallucination.

Grabbing the end of a digestive tract, in reality, was just grabbing at thin air and doing whatever to himself.

...Suddenly, it all made sense.

Dr. Cen saw the light.

“You’re right,” Dr. Cen said. “If you’re together, you have to consider his feelings.”

Lin Jianyuan nodded.

“But I don’t think you should stress yourself out over this,” Dr. Cen said, looking him in the eye. “You know meds have side effects. If you increase the dose too much, it could backfire.”

If his wife disappeared because of the meds, that’d be a problem.

Lin Jianyuan sighed. “I get it, doctor. I know I can’t rush treatment. But we’re both guys, and he’s only in his early twenties. You know how that age is—ready to go at the drop of a hat. We live together, sleep together. What if things get heated and I can’t respond to him?”

Dr. Cen: “????”

What gun? What fire?

Does he even hear himself?

How could his digestive system wife have a gun to go off?

The gun’s in the reproductive system, not the digestive! You’re mixing up your systems!

—Enough.

He almost lost the thread of the patient’s logic again.

Dr. Cen took a deep breath, trying to keep up. “Too much of this medication can affect sexual function.”

Lin Jianyuan: “.”

Lin Jianyuan replied right away, “Oh, got it. Thanks, doctor. I’ll take it slow.”

Dr. Cen fought the urge to sigh to the heavens.

After a friendly and harmonious doctor-patient chat, Lin Jianyuan finally gave up on increasing his meds and asked to be discharged.

The reason was simple.

He was broke.

Halfway through talking with Dr. Cen, his phone buzzed.

He’d been paid!

But before he could even celebrate, Lin Jianyuan opened his pay slip and his vision went dark.

3965.52.

He thought he’d misread it and rubbed his eyes.

3965.52.

He exited, reopened, refreshed.

3965.52.

He knew sick leave meant a pay cut, but this was brutal!

Lin Jianyuan called HR as soon as he left the doctor’s office.

HR confirmed what he suspected.

First, he lost his 500 yuan attendance bonus.

Then he lost some of his performance pay.

After all the deductions, his contract said his pay for last month was 3965.52.

Worse, that was before taxes.

After all the deductions, he only got 3190.2.

3190.2!!!

That’s it. He had to get back to work!

Otherwise, never mind supporting his wife—he couldn’t even support himself!

Dr. Cen agreed to discharge him.

He didn’t need IVs anymore, and with his roommate around, his mood was stable. No need for further observation.

“Bro, you’re leaving?” Xiao Liu watched him pack, looking reluctant to say goodbye.

Lin Jianyuan paused, pulled out his phone. “Let’s add each other on WeChat.”

“Yeah, sure!” Xiao Liu beamed and happily added him.

As Lin Jianyuan packed, he suddenly remembered the bone he’d found in the garden yesterday.

Where was it? Where did it go?

He scratched his head. He’d meant to show it to Dr. Cen, but Xiao Liu and Red Hair had interrupted him.

He remembered tucking it somewhere on himself, but now, after searching every pocket, he couldn’t find it.

Lin Jianyuan set a personal record for giving up after one second of confusion.

After all.

He was a mental patient!

He was still in the psych ward! (Well, about to leave.)

So what if a mental patient saw a few hallucinations?

His wife was still a digestive system!

There are no unsolvable mysteries—if you’re willing to stop thinking about them.

Lin Jianyuan promptly deleted the whole vertebra-in-the-garden incident from his mind and happily left the hospital with his roommate.

What he didn’t know was that as soon as he and his roommate boarded the subway home, the entire No. 700 Jiangchuan North Road was taken over by the Bureau.

Xie Yu was likely hiding nearby, and the field team was on high alert, running three shifts a day, eight hours each, for round-the-clock surveillance.

The operation was supposed to be led by Shi Shaoning.

But today, Shi Shaoning wasn’t there.

The reason was simple.

Delirium had escaped.

He’d been dragged off to chase Delirium again.

……

...

Getting discharged meant going home—and going back to work the next day.

Maybe his mindset had shifted, or maybe he’d just gotten good rest at the hospital, but now when Lin Jianyuan opened his company chat and saw 99+ unread messages, he didn’t feel annoyed at all.

In August, you couldn’t survive without air conditioning.

The rundown building where Lin Jianyuan and his roommate lived didn’t have an elevator, so one man and one intestine had to trudge up the stairs together.

By the time he reached their floor, Lin Jianyuan was drenched in sweat.

Whether his roommate was sweating, who knew—he didn’t have skin.

He couldn’t take it. Should’ve bought two bottles of cold Coke downstairs. Panting, Lin Jianyuan fished his keys from his pocket.

The keys jingled as he pulled them out.

Along with them came a plush keychain—an Angel Eyeball.

Honestly, the big, fluttery-eyed ball with three pairs of wings was pretty cute.

Maybe it was the plush, but it felt great in his hand—solid stuffing, springy to the touch. Cute and oddly satisfying.

It was right up there with the squishy snail toy.

This kind of fluffy trinket was definitely not something a grown man like Lin Jianyuan would buy for himself.

Afraid his wife would get the wrong idea, Lin Jianyuan paused, about to explain he had no idea where it came from, when he saw his roommate eye the keychain with interest.

Then he asked, “Do you like it?”

Lin Jianyuan blinked, then caught on. “You gave this to me?”

His roommate: “Yeah. No use keeping it myself, so I gave it to you.”

The lock swallowed the key smoothly. Lin Jianyuan opened the door and stepped inside, seeing the empty dining table.

He suddenly remembered the morning a squishy snail toy had appeared on the table. “Was that snail from you, too?”

His roommate: “Yep.”

His roommate’s mouth curved into a smile, the shape just right.

Lin Jianyuan used to think that smile looked a little roguish, but now it just looked kissable.

Really kissable.

Tested and confirmed—kissable.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but recall last night’s kiss. His roommate asked, “Is it useful?”

Suddenly, everything clicked.

Not long after they’d met, his roommate said he was special.

Whenever he worked late, his roommate was always up, waiting for him.

When he came home full of complaints, his roommate would ask about work.

And then, the next day, a snail squish toy would appear on the table.

Case closed.

His roommate had been crushing on him from the start!

Lin Jianyuan’s mouth practically turned up to his ears: “~”

So satisfying.

Lin Jianyuan basked in it.

After changing shoes, he noticed the apartment smelled a bit stuffy, like it hadn’t been aired out in days.

Probably because his roommate had closed all the windows during the rainstorm.

And his roommate had been busy, running between school and the hospital.

Thinking about it, Lin Jianyuan felt a little moved.

He walked over and hugged his roommate. “Wife.”

Coiled intestines wrapped around Lin Jianyuan’s waist.

Roommate: “Hmm?”

Lin Jianyuan held him close. “Nothing. Just wanted to hug my wife.”

His roommate laughed softly. “You’re weird.”

His roommate said he was weird, but his body was honest—esophagus, no, cheek, actually—he leaned in and pressed his cheek against Lin Jianyuan’s.

Cool and soft, it felt strangely good in the summer heat.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help pinching his—esophagus, no, cheek, and said, “Why are you so cool to the touch? Sweated too much and cooled off by evaporation?”

Roommate: “Should I go warm up in the microwave?”

Lin Jianyuan: “Huh?”

His roommate made as if to head for the kitchen. Lin Jianyuan quickly stopped him. “Wait! Come back!”

His roommate paused.

Lin Jianyuan: “Oh, wait, no, you don’t have to come back!”

His roommate opened the microwave and started to climb in.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help laughing, pulled him back, pinched his liver, and said, “Enough playing. Let’s cook. It’s almost noon—aren’t you hungry?”

Roommate: “Not hungry. I ate at the hospital.”

Lin Jianyuan shot him a look. When did he eat? Oh, probably raided the vending machine again.

His roommate was a guy, but surprisingly loved snacks.

That was one of his cute quirks.

“Still, you need three proper meals a day or you’ll get a stomachache.” Lin Jianyuan put on his elder’s tone, lecturing him seriously.

Lin Jianyuan himself had stomach problems.

He didn’t have a CEO’s life, but he had a CEO’s illness. All that overtime had wrecked his stomach.

All thanks to that damn job!

“Skipping meals gives you stomachaches?” His roommate pondered, patting his stomach with a coil of intestine.

“Yeah. Eat a little with me.” Lin Jianyuan opened the fridge. “What do you want?”

There were still groceries from a few days ago.

Roommate: “I want to eat you.”

Lin Jianyuan: “!”

His first thought: Eat? What eat? That “eat”? Eat that???

Second thought: So direct!

Is this what dating a guy is like?

If he were dating a girl, things would never move this fast.

It made him feel like he was just after his partner’s body.

With a girl, it’d be more gradual. You couldn’t just bring up that stuff right away—it’d be disrespectful.

But with his roommate, he had none of those worries.

So this was what dating a guy felt like?

Still, facing the pink digestive system in front of him, he really couldn’t bring himself to do it.

But he could kiss him.

So he pulled his roommate close, closed his eyes, and kissed him.

His roommate seemed surprised at first, but quickly adjusted, soft, damp intestines curling around his waist.

Lin Jianyuan: “?”

It took Lin Jianyuan a second to realize—his roommate was squeezing his waist?

Wait, what?

His roommate was actually squeezing his waist?!

Lin Jianyuan wanted to laugh, but also felt a flash of competitiveness.

He reached around and grabbed his roommate’s—uh, liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas—then guessed where his butt might be and hoisted up his sigmoid colon.

Roommate: “???”

Roommate, startled: “You…”

As his roommate’s lips parted in surprise, Lin Jianyuan seized the moment.

His roommate fell silent.

Honestly, it was Lin Jianyuan’s first time French kissing a guy.

How did it feel?

Amazing. So good it made his scalp tingle.

He had no idea how long he kissed his roommate—just that his lips were soft, his body softer still.

So soft, cool and damp, the mucosa sliding beneath his palm, pulsing as if swallowing something.

Swallowing… what?

Lin Jianyuan’s mouth went dry. That tingling at the back of his head grew stronger, a shiver running from his tailbone to the crown of his skull.

His roommate barely moved, tongue sluggish, like a snake just waking from hibernation.

Lin Jianyuan teased the little snake, which hesitated, unsure what to do, letting him push and pull it at will.

So dumb.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but smile.

There was a secret thrill in bullying his clueless wife.

Until he heard—

“Gulp.”

Lin Jianyuan froze and let go instinctively.

His roommate’s lips were parted, still dazed.

There was no face on a digestive system, so Lin Jianyuan couldn’t see his expression.

All he saw was his roommate licking his lips, clearly wanting more, then saying with satisfaction:

“Tasty. More.”

Lin Jianyuan’s face went bright red.

Wait, is this right? Wasn’t his roommate a newbie?

How was he not even shy about his first French kiss?

How come he was the one blushing and embarrassed?!

The world’s turned upside down!