Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Are My Roommate’s Wrists Always This Soft?

With the daily subway commute skipped with a mental click, Lin Jianyuan found himself already home.

It was nearly ten o’clock; the air had lost its daytime heat.

The residential complex had quieted down, save for the cicadas still singing in the trees he passed.

Faint stars lay scattered across the night sky as Lin Jianyuan dragged his exhausted body upstairs and fished out his keys.

The key slid smoothly into the lock.

He half-expected to hear that familiar, “You’re home!”—but when he opened the door, the apartment was pitch dark.

His roommate wasn’t there?

Click. Lin Jianyuan turned on the light; the cold white glow of the bulb lit up the rented room.

The windows were closed, as was the air conditioner—there was a stifling, unventilated heaviness in the room.

He tossed his things onto the table and headed inside to grab fresh clothes for a shower.

It was so hot that Lin Jianyuan went straight for a cold shower.

The cold water washed away sweat and odor, as well as all the fatigue clinging to him.

He squeezed some body wash into his palm, rubbing it over his skin, when suddenly, a strange thought flickered through his mind.

He glanced around.

The cramped shower was dimly lit. On the tiled shelf were just a large bottle of shampoo, a big bottle of body wash, and a bar of soap.

All of those belonged to him. Not a single thing of his roommate’s in sight.

Suspicious now, he picked up the shampoo and weighed it, then replaced it. He did the same with the body wash.

They weighed about the same as last time.

The soap, too—looked untouched by anyone but him.

His roommate hadn’t used his things? Then what did his roommate use to bathe?

The more he pondered, the stranger it felt.

He rinsed himself off in a hurry, grabbed his towel, and stepped out of the shower.

On the sink sat a lone rinsing cup, with a single toothbrush stuck inside it.

The toothpaste tube was squashed flat and tossed aside; it took effort to squeeze anything out these days—he really should get a new one.

Lin Jianyuan noticed there weren’t any of his roommate’s personal items on the sink. The same went for the washing machine and towel rack. The entire bathroom held only his own toiletries.

What was going on?

Did his roommate really put everything away after every wash?

That was just too weird!

He felt baffled, momentarily at a loss.

Forget it, he thought. It wasn’t as if his roommate’s quirks were news to him.

He was mentally ill himself—who was he to judge anyone?

He towel-dried his body, pulled on his underwear, and started out while rubbing his hair.

No sooner had he stepped out than a familiar voice rang out.

“I’m home!”

Lin Jianyuan’s hand paused in midair as he replied offhandedly, “Yeah.”

“What’s this?” In the living room, the pink digestive system approached the dining table, attention caught by the potted plant atop it.

“Company perk,” said Lin Jianyuan. “That dish you made last time was great, so I swiped a pot from the office. Next time you cook it, you can just pluck some fresh leaves.”

Fresh mint leaves had to taste better in a dish, right?

“Ah.” His roommate’s tone was laced with laughter. The soft intestines coiled around the pot, inspecting it with genuine curiosity. “Your company has very odd perks.”

“All right, fine, it wasn’t exactly company-issued. I swiped it. My coworker was taking care of it, and I got the wild idea to soak it in goji-chrysanthemum cassia seed tea. It grew like mad after that.”

The vines were nearly covering the walls. The office was on its way to becoming a tropical rainforest.

“Goji-chrysanthemum cassia seed tea?”

“Yeah—just goji berries, chrysanthemum, and cassia seeds brewed together. Good for your eyes.”

“Oh.”

Lin Jianyuan was nearly finished drying his hair, about to head back to his room when his roommate suddenly called, “Wait.”

Lin Jianyuan turned to see the intestines pulling a phone from the gallbladder.

Lin Jianyuan felt as if lightning had struck him.

How the hell did a gallbladder fit a phone?

No, more importantly—who the fuck stored their phone in a gallbladder?

His roommate: “Add me on WeChat?”

The intestines waved the phone at him invitingly.

…Those intestines were so soft.

The way those guts swayed the phone reminded him of a sea anemone undulating in the abyss—a truly bizarre sight.

The more he thought about it—this sea anemone, no, these intestines weren’t really intestines but his roommate’s hand—Lin Jianyuan just felt all the stranger.

Were his roommate’s wrists always this supple? That much dexterity?

Lin Jianyuan went to fetch his phone and added him on WeChat.

His roommate’s phone looked brand-new at first glance, but on closer inspection, it was a model from several years back.

Ding. Friend request accepted.

Lin Jianyuan: “OK.”

Roommate: “You heading to bed?”

Lin Jianyuan: “Yeah, about to. What’s up?”

“Then go ahead. Goodnight.” His roommate tucked the phone back into the gallbladder, sat by the table, and began fiddling with the potted plant.

For some reason, the Eye Vines that ran wild in the office became utterly meek the moment they got home.

Even when the pink digestive system poked its leaves with the duodenum, every leaf curled up like a bashful mimosa.

The whole plant was shaking like it had Parkinson’s.

Lin Jianyuan glanced between the plant and his roommate.

He decided the roommate with a phone in his gallbladder at least had a more vivid imagination.

The air conditioner in Lin Jianyuan’s room had been fixed, and as he walked in shirtless to the cool air, every pore on his body relaxed.

He stretched out on the bed, pulled the blanket over his navel, and played a few rounds of Candy Crush on his phone.

Tiring of the game, he idly opened his Moments feed.

Pei Shuo had played badminton that night and posted a selfie with his buddy, arms slung over each other’s shoulders, both smiling dazzlingly.

Qin Shi had gone out for a “pretty meal” with her best friend, attaching a gorgeous nine-shot spread of food; in the middle one, she and her friend reached across the table to flash victory signs over a feast.

Neither girl showed her face; only neatly trimmed fingers appeared in the frame.

Lin Jianyuan found himself partial to these unadorned nails—long, clean, with a healthy pink—that looked lively and well cared-for.

Jiang Chen had reposted, “Those born in the Year of the Monkey will hit career highs this month—overtime brings surprises!” Bullshit. Lin Jianyuan skipped right past it.

There he was again: “Ten Office Feng Shui Taboos—Forward and Revive Your Projects!” What a loudmouthed, superstitious idiot.

Yet again Jiang Chen: “Second half goal: triple performance! Wolf pack team, let’s go, go, go!”

Lin Jianyuan: “….”

Let the world burn.

His irritation flared. He tapped into Jiang Chen’s profile and blocked his Moments feed.

Right. What about his roommate? He didn’t even know what university his roommate attended, or what his major was.

He opened their chat. His roommate’s username was “XY,” avatar the default gray silhouette, out of place among all the vibrant profile photos—impossible to miss.

Unique as ever, Lin Jianyuan thought, tapping his roommate’s profile.

No Moments option.

Lin Jianyuan: “Huh??”

He was momentarily stunned. Sliding back out, he picked another contact profile at random.

Pei Shuo’s Moments preview popped up right away.

Frowning, Lin Jianyuan returned to XY’s profile. Still nothing.

Everyone else’s page showed:

[Friend Info]

[Friend Permissions]

[Moments]

But his roommate only had the first two.

No “Moments” at all!

Lin Jianyuan froze for a second before it hit him.

His roommate had blocked him.

His roommate had added him on WeChat but hadn’t given him access to his Moments.

So he couldn’t see any of his posts.

…Fuck. Was that really necessary? Was his roommate that guarded about him?

Did the guy think he was up to something, or just find him insufferable?

For a moment Lin Jianyuan fumed, thinking how he’d even brought home that plant—what a goddamn idiot.

Late at night.

Lin Jianyuan had already turned off the lights; only the air conditioner’s signal lamp glowed in the darkness.

Moonlight crept through the window, gently illuminating his sleeping face.

He lay sprawled out in his briefs, limbs everywhere, most of his body uncovered save for the thin blanket draped over his navel.

A flush-pink shadow arrived, as it always did, creeping expertly onto Lin Jianyuan’s bed.

The squish toy: “.”

The little stone: “.”

With a chomp, a maw as wide as a python’s engulfed Lin Jianyuan’s head.

The teeth retracted with care, as the digestive system began its nightly feast with delight.

Tonight’s Lin Jianyuan was especially lively and spirited, his mind erupting with so much negativity it could slap a passing dog just for fun.

Its throat undulated, and a contented sigh bubbled up from deep in the esophagus.

It had really grown fond of this flavor—delicious, abundant, and best of all, served up nightly without ever having to hunt for it.

It was too good to be true.

“Mmm… mmm…” The digestive system ate so blissfully, even its duodenum began to sway.

“Is it stomping its feet because it’s that tasty?” the little stone whispered.

The squish toy fired back, “Can’t it just eat quietly? What’s with those obscene noises? Pervert!”

“Keep your voice down,” urged the stone, “that’s Xie Yu—you don’t want it to hear…”

Luckily, the digestive system was lost in eating ecstasy and paid no mind to the two toys chirping in the corner.

For some reason tonight, Lin Jianyuan’s negative energy felt especially potent.

The digestive system gulped greedily, Lin Jianyuan’s rich emotions sliding down its esophagus like thick honey, pooling in the stomach.

The gallbladder and pancreas lay soft together, nested, as the entwined intestines shifted in gentle waves.

Only the duodenum perked up like a little tail, wagging this way and that.

Drowsiness crept in.

It rarely felt “sleepy.” Maybe it had just eaten too much tonight.

Just like humans. What was it called? Food coma.

Haaah—

It yawned, smacked its lips a few times, and only reluctantly let go of its delicious lollipop.

Sleepy.

The digestive system snuggled directly atop Lin Jianyuan.

Its tender, soft liver pressed against Lin Jianyuan’s chest, its twining intestines burrowing into the blanket to nuzzle the human’s warm body through a thin layer of muscle.

Consider it a little bonus for its favorite treat.

In this heat, Lin Jianyuan liked to sleep holding it.

“Haaah—” The digestive system yawned again, its slender, supple esophagus stretching out to curl itself around Lin Jianyuan’s neck.

The human’s Adam’s apple was like a tiny lollipop. Just as it was about to fall asleep with that sweet treat in its mouth, Lin Jianyuan suddenly shoved it away!

The digestive system: “?”

The little stone: “Yikes! Is he awake?”

Squish toy: “Doesn’t look like it? Not sure. Watch a bit more.”

The digestive system wasn’t sure either, so it inched closer. Lin Jianyuan’s eyes were still shut, brows furrowed, hands pawing unconsciously to push it off the bed.

Lin Jianyuan’s breathing and heart rate stayed steady—he didn’t seem awake.

But still, he kept pushing it away. Then rolled over with his back turned.

Everything about him said, Don’t touch me, don’t come near.

The digestive system: “.”

It coiled up in the corner of the bed, perfectly still—a real, lifeless digestive system now.

Little stone: “Eek! Xie Yu’s mad?!”

Squish toy: “We’re doomed. Silence before the storm…”

The squish toy and little stone huddled together, shaking.

Sure enough, the silent digestive system exploded the next second, its intestines lashing down like whips!

The blow was swift and heavy, slicing the air—but the target was not Lin Jianyuan, but—

The air conditioner on the wall?!

Both toys gaped in shock.

But what stunned them most—the digestive system could have smashed the unit to pieces, but it hadn’t!

The intestine stopped just one millimeter from the main unit!

The cold wind kept blowing, the air conditioner oblivious to its near-death experience, still diligently oscillating.

Little stone: “What’s happening?”

Squish toy: “How should I know—wait, fuck, Lin Jianyuan?!”

The little stone jumped, quickly checking on Lin Jianyuan.

It thought he might have woken, but what it saw was even more startling.

Lin Jianyuan rolled over, his arm draped perfectly across the digestive system’s liver.

Maybe he’d caught a chill; in his sleep, Lin Jianyuan frowned and drew his arm back a little.

But this time, he didn’t shove the digestive system away.

Instead, he tugged at the blanket.

He gripped the thin blanket, pulling it over half of the digestive system’s organs.

His arm lay draped over its liver and pancreas, his leg thrown over the curled-up intestines.

The soft intestines pulsed gently; the cold, slick membrane must have chilled him again.

So he hooked his ankle.

He dragged up another fold of blanket, completely covering the digestive system.

Lin Jianyuan slept soundly through it all.

So he held the digestive system tight even in sleep, tucking them both in as if nothing could separate them.

The digestive system: “.”

Squish toy and little stone: “…………”

The pink intestine, hovering a millimeter from the AC, slowly withdrew, nestling back beneath the covers.

The S-class Aberrant, Xie Yu.

Had just been pacified with a blanket.

Little stone: “Something’s not right.”

Squish toy: “Something’s really not right!”

The S-class Aberrant gave not a damn for whatever the A-class losers were muttering.

In high spirits, it decided to celebrate with another bite or two.

Its supple, cool esophagus wrapped around Lin Jianyuan’s throat once again.

No matter how Lin Jianyuan pushed in his sleep this time, the digestive system didn’t let go.

“Mm…” Feeling the discomfort even in slumber, Lin Jianyuan only furrowed his brow as his Adam’s apple slid under the pressure.

The delicious little lollipop ran across its tongue.

The digestive system could almost feel goosebumps rippling across its own mucous membranes.

The sensation was so exquisite it couldn’t help but engulf the lollipop in one gulp, sucking at it with abandon.

It was lost in its blissful suckling when suddenly—

Crack.

Feeding stopped.

Squish toy: “Why does this look familiar?”

Little stone: “Don’t say it—I think so too…”

The two stress toys watched nervously as the perverted Aberrant raised its “throat” from the human’s neck, where it had been sucking and licking.

Lin Jianyuan’s Adam’s apple, reddened from the sucking, glistened with digestive fluid down his throat and jaw.

The longer they looked, the more familiar this scene felt.

Sure enough, the next second, the digestive system opened wide and shoved its own intestine down its throat.

Digging, rummaging, digging some more.

From deep in its gullet, it retrieved a black crystal.

Digestive system: “……”

Squish toy and little stone: “……”

The digestive system fell silent.

It stared at the crystal.

Then decisively tossed the crystal aside.

And went right back to licking its lollipop.

A few seconds later. Crack.

It turned and spat it out.

A few seconds more… Another crack.

Digestive system: “………………”

Squish toy and little stone: “……”—not daring to say a word!

After being interrupted again and again, the digestive system was truly angry now.

It grabbed the black crystal it had spat out and, in a fit of fury, crunched it up.

The black crystal was chewed to bits! Devoured completely!

At last, the digestive system twisted around to glare—with all the disbelief it could muster—at the person sound asleep, half its organs still embraced in his arms.

“Moments?!”

…The world of humans was impossibly complicated!

Digestive system (furious): Have to buy a phone! Set up WeChat! Adding isn’t enough—you even have to grant Moments permissions!

What a pain in the ass!