Chapter 27
Chapter 27: Pure Cotton Men's Boxer Shorts
Lin Jianyuan’s follow-up appointment went surprisingly well.
He was still seeing those hallucinations, but overall, his condition hadn’t gotten any worse.
Dr. Cen’s advice was to continue with the original treatment plan.
In other words, keep taking the meds.
Lin Jianyuan felt a flicker of worry. “What if my condition gets worse? Will I need to be hospitalized?”
Dr. Cen replied, “Even in the hospital, you’ll just be taking meds.”
Lin Jianyuan asked, “Then what’s the point of being hospitalized? To keep me from hurting anyone?”
Dr. Cen, cool as ever, said, “No. It’s just to give you a long vacation. Time to relax.”
Instantly, Lin Jianyuan found himself hoping his condition would get worse.
In the blink of an eye, another uneventful week crawled by. Meaningless life had delivered him once again to Friday.
“Bro, I got bread and rice balls today. Which one do you want?” Pei Shuo handed over a steaming breakfast first thing in the morning.
Lin Jianyuan glanced at it, pulled out his phone. “Rice ball. How much?”
Ever since he’d discovered Lin Jianyuan’s aversion to breakfast, Pei Shuo had taken it on himself to bring him food every morning.
At first, Pei Shuo had refused to accept any money, insisting Lin Jianyuan had taught him so much—what were a few bucks between them?
After a sharp talking-to from Lin Jianyuan, he finally started accepting the transfers.
Done with Lin Jianyuan’s transfer, Pei Shuo grabbed another breakfast and beamed at Qin Shi. “Sister Qin Shi, here’s your savory pancake!”
“Wow, thank you!” Qin Shi’s eyes sparkled. “These savory pancakes are amazing—thank you, Xiao-Shuo!”
—Pei Shuo didn’t just bring breakfast for Lin Jianyuan. He often brought extra for everyone in the office.
He really was a human central air conditioner: always running, always making others comfortable.
Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but laugh to himself.
The savory pancake Pei Shuo brought was rich with aroma, slathered generously in sauce.
The smell was pure temptation. Soon the whole office drifted over.
Qin Shi cheerfully used a skewer to dole out pieces of pancake to the crowd, energetically recommending the shop to everyone.
Even Lin Jianyuan couldn’t resist; he put down his rice ball and hurried over for a bite.
Laughter and chatter filled the air, the deathly Monday office ambience lifting noticeably.
Just then, Jiang Chen came down from upstairs.
The bustling, joyous atmosphere evaporated the second everyone laid eyes on Jiang Chen.
Everyone wiped the smiles off their faces and slunk quietly back to their desks, lest that guy start running his mouth.
But for once, Jiang Chen didn’t say a word. He just strode briskly outside, phone pressed to his ear.
“Why is Jiang Chen wearing a three-piece suit today?” Qin Shi muttered, shoving another bit of pancake into her mouth. “All dressed up. Is he getting married or something?”
“He said on the phone he’s picking someone up,” Lin Jianyuan replied.
Sure enough, before long Jiang Chen returned, leading a middle-aged woman none of them had seen before.
“Everyone, stop for a moment—put down what you’re doing,” Jiang Chen said, all smiles and extra polite. “Let me introduce someone.”
“Everyone, this is Ms. Yu Xiuli, an Efficiency Optimization Consultant sent from headquarters. Ms. Yu, this is our team—”
“One moment,” Yu Xiuli cut him off, raising a hand.
She wore a black suit, her hair pulled into a tight bun, her face serious.
Pale makeup, thick black-rimmed glasses—she looked every bit the stern hall monitor.
Her brows knit as she swept a sharp glance around the office, checked her watch, and said, displeased, “What time do you call this? Why are you still eating breakfast? It’s working hours, isn’t it?”
Everyone immediately set down their food. Jiang Chen, face burning with embarrassment, rushed to smooth things over. “Sorry, Ms. Yu, sorry for the spectacle. We’ll correct this at once, right away!”
He bowed and nodded furiously as he ushered Yu Xiuli upstairs. On the way, he shot everyone a furious, blame-laden glare.
That shit-eating look clearly said: You’re the reason I’ve lost face.
“What the hell is her problem,” someone muttered.
As soon as the office door upstairs shut, Qin Shi whipped her pancake back out and stuffed a huge bite in her mouth, grumbling, “Give me a break. What’s this efficiency consultant even here for? She can police our breakfast, but does she care when Jiang Chen steals our lunch break for meetings?!”
“Exactly!”
“Sigh, bet we’re getting ‘rectified’ again. This is such a pain.”
“Forget it, she’s here from HQ. No need to stick our necks out; just get through the inspection and move on.”
“There are actually efficiency consultants? That’s a first for me.” Pei Shuo looked genuinely intrigued. “Bro, she’s here to help us work more efficiently, right?”
Lin Jianyuan looked at that innocent expression and couldn’t bear it. “She’s here to dock our pay.”
“Wait, what?”
Sure enough, at the emergency meeting that noon, Jiang Chen announced, “Anyone caught eating breakfast past 9:00 a.m. in the office will be fined 50 per infraction. It pollutes the office environment and disturbs others’ work.”
“Son of a bitch.” Qin Shi fumed. “She might as well just ask for my ID number!”
“The efficiency consultant probably won’t stay long, right?” Pei Shuo’s golden retriever comfort mode activated. “Sister Qin Shi, just hang in there! She’ll probably be gone in a few days.”
Lin Jianyuan crushed his optimism. “Don’t count on it.”
“Huh?”
Lin Jianyuan pointed at the last empty desk. “Remember when Jiang Chen, that dumbass, told us to clear off that desk for a new coworker? The new hire is the hall monitor.”
The crowd: “…”
And just as expected, at exactly 1 p.m., as the afternoon shift began, Yu Xiuli appeared at that desk right on schedule.
Her desk was planted at the very back, where she could, without even standing, survey the entire office. The sensation of being watched was total.
The once-relaxed work atmosphere went stifling in an instant; nobody dared to chat, everyone kept their heads down and worked in silence.
Luckily, even efficiency consultants needed bathroom breaks.
The moment Yu Xiuli got up for the restroom, everyone surfaced for air, crowding together for a rapid-fire vent.
“Holy shit, she’s a freak!” Qin Shi raged. “Even my high school homeroom teacher wasn’t this insane!”
“Say no more, I’m getting PTSD. This is more disgusting than having cameras everywhere.”
“Doesn’t she have her own work to do? She isn’t seriously going to stare at us all damn day, is she?”
“Isn’t that what an efficiency specialist is supposed to do?”
“So how long is she staying? Please tell me it’s not permanent. If I have zero privacy, I’ll really quit.”
Everyone was frantically venting, until someone realized the usually foul-mouthed Lin Jianyuan hadn’t said a word.
Maybe he was just holding in a big one.
So everyone looked at him expectantly. Lin Jianyuan eyed them suspiciously. “What?”
The others struggled not to crack up. Only Pei Shuo asked, worried, “Bro, are you feeling sick? Why aren’t you cussing people out?”
Lin Jianyuan: “??”
He rolled his eyes, grabbed a file to fan himself, and muttered, “Not worth it. Seriously, is the air conditioning broken? Why is it so damn hot?”
Prompted by his words, the others finally noticed how stiflingly hot it was.
Su Zhiwei smacked his forehead. “No wonder I’m sweating buckets. I thought it was just that hall monitor’s stare.”
But the air conditioner was running. Lin Jianyuan glanced up—the red strip hanging from the vent fluttered gently.
Pei Shuo went over to the main control and exclaimed, “It’s set to twenty-seven degrees!”
“What? Twenty-seven? That’s barely even on!”
“There’s a difference—at twenty-seven it’s basically heating! Who set it that high?!”
They all exchanged bewildered looks.
Just then, Yu Xiuli came back.
Everyone scrambled back to their seats and got busy before Yu Xiuli could say anything.
Yu Xiuli returned to her desk, typing away on her computer.
Every so often she’d push up her black glasses and scan the office with the cold scrutiny of a police interrogator.
Lin Jianyuan was drenched, heat radiating from him—having to work under such scrutiny only pissed him off more.
Thankfully, Pei Shuo had just set the temperature back down. After a few minutes, the office finally started to cool.
Even the Eye Vines’ leaves, which had curled up from the heat, were relaxing again.
Lin Jianyuan could finally breathe.
He let out a long sigh, grabbed his cup, and headed for the water cooler. Behind him, he heard footsteps.
He looked back instinctively just as Yu Xiuli strode purposefully to the AC controls and flipped it off.
Instantly, the blessed cool air vanished.
Lin Jianyuan: “?”
Everyone: “???”
Everyone’s head shot up, staring at Yu Xiuli in disbelief.
Yu Xiuli announced, “There’s no need to run the AC so low. The room is already cold enough. Are none of you cold?”
She looked pointedly at Qin Shi, the other woman in the office.
Qin Shi, face slick with sweat, looked up miserably. “Huh?”
Yu Xiuli: “.”
Everyone else’s faces were red with heat, but Yu Xiuli ignored it, getting back to her own business.
She muttered, “You young people never know how to keep warm—just wait till you’re old.”
—As the only person in the room wearing a skirt and sandals, you’re the last one who should talk!
Everyone was rolling their eyes so hard they could see their own heels.
Lin Jianyuan refused to put up with her. He strode over and, with a decisive click, switched the AC back on.
Cool air swept through. The whole office exhaled in relief.
Yu Xiuli looked up, startled. Her brow furrowed into a furious scowl.
Lin Jianyuan had barely reached his seat before—click—the AC was off again.
Yu Xiuli had shut it off.
She sat down—click. Lin Jianyuan flipped it on.
On and on it went, click-click, back and forth—a relay race on the AC switch.
“What are you doing?!” Yu Xiuli snapped.
Lin Jianyuan shot back, “Turning on the AC.”
Yu Xiuli retorted, “Nobody said no AC, but the office is freezing! Can’t you think of anyone else? Don’t you see I’m in a skirt?”
That did it for Lin Jianyuan. “Who’s selfish? You’re the only one who’s cold! If you’re cold, wear more! What about the rest of us? Want us to strip naked or something?!”
Yu Xiuli’s face grew darker with each word; Lin Jianyuan was sweating, furious.
They were about to explode when Qin Shi cut in to mediate, waving a blanket. “Ms. Yu, I have a blanket here!”
Pei Shuo hurriedly dragged Lin Jianyuan back, turned his desk fan towards him, and whispered, “Don’t get mad, bro. Don’t waste your anger on this. Just keep calm and you’ll feel cool, promise...”
Qin Shi’s offer was well-intentioned, but Yu Xiuli just sneered at the cartoon blanket. “Is that thing even clean? And you’re Xiao Qin, right? Aren’t you almost thirty? Still into silly cartoons? My son quit those in third grade. Are you still single because you refuse to grow up?”
Her laser stare swept over Qin Shi’s desk, targeting every anime standee and figurine like a gun turret.
Qin Shi’s face went crimson, her fists clenched in mute rage.
But Yu Xiuli’s tirade hadn’t ended. After eviscerating the desk, she scrutinized its owner, up and down, brow creasing deeper and deeper, her tone suddenly that of a nagging elder:
“Listen, Xiao Qin, you really should pay more attention to your image. Sure, the company doesn’t have a dress code, but you’re a girl—at work, a dress and heels are the basics, aren’t they? And you really should learn to put on makeup. Otherwise, what will the clients think...”
Who had time or energy for glam when work was already this much bullshit?
Every woman in the office who came to work bare-faced instantly fumed, but before any of them could erupt, there was a loud bang!
Lin Jianyuan slapped his desk and shot to his feet!
The squish toy screamed in his mind, Lin Jianyuan! Let me out! I’ll steal every second of this old hag’s time—make her age ten years in a heartbeat!
The little rock chimed in, Just throw me at her, it’s fine if she takes a fall.
But Lin Jianyuan, brimming with rage, didn’t hear a word the toys said.
He stormed forward, face thunderous.
“Bro!”
“Lin Jianyuan!”
Everyone panicked and lunged to hold him back.
Yu Xiuli, standing by the AC switch, went straight from fear to outrage. “Lin Jianyuan, what are you doing?! Don’t you dare! I’ll—”
She didn’t even get to say “call the police.”
Lin Jianyuan shot past her with a whoosh!
The crowd: “?”
Yu Xiuli: “???”
He tore through the office like a rabid bull, miraculously not flattening any idiot coworkers or office equipment along the way.
He bolted down the stairs.
Everyone was dumbfounded.
A moment later, Lin Jianyuan returned.
He had returned—but somehow, he wasn’t quite the same man.
Lin Jianyuan had left in casual long pants. But now, he wore a skirt.
A purple sequined miniskirt!
Not just any miniskirt, either—he’d kept his leather shoes, and his leg hair was wild and free.
So beneath the glittering purple hem emerged an awe-inspiring pair of long, manly legs.
He straight-up blinded everyone on the spot.
Yu Xiuli had never seen anything like this in her life. She could only gape, speechless.
And it wasn’t just Yu Xiuli.
No one here had ever seen anything like this!
“Pfft!” Pei Shuo lost it first, bursting into laughter.
Soon everyone was howling.
Lin Jianyuan strolled nonchalantly back to his desk, only to be cut off by Yu Xiuli.
“You—you—what is this indecency?!” Yu Xiuli was shaking with rage, jabbing a finger at his nose. “You’re immoral! Absolutely shameless! Change this instant—”
She hadn’t even finished.
Lin Jianyuan lifted his leg—and trapped her with a textbook thigh slam.
BAM!!!
That bam shook the earth!
That bam sent ghosts wailing and gods scattering!
The whole room hallucinated a slow-motion close-up.
The purple sequined miniskirt flared with energy, those manly, untamed legs—usually hidden in slacks—now blocked Yu Xiuli’s escape. The leg hair breathed free at last!
Yu Xiuli was stunned into silence, face grey as ash, body stiff as a board.
But the show wasn’t over.
He leaned in, eyes flickering over her prim black suit, and gurgled, voice low and threatening:
“Girl, it’s your first day on the job, so I’ll let you off this time. But if you dare wear that again tomorrow—” he glared, teeth clenched in menace, “then I—”
“—I’ll wear this again tomorrow too!!!”
BAM!
That was the sound of every bystander internally collapsing with glee.
Yu Xiuli looked like she might actually faint—but couldn’t.
Because Lin Jianyuan was still thigh-blocking her.
If she fainted now, she’d just slide down—right between his legs.
Which would basically count as worshipping at Lin Jianyuan’s miniskirted feet.
—Oh god, anything but that!
Luckily, Lin Jianyuan didn’t keep it up forever.
He flashed a wicked grin and gracefully retracted his mighty leg.
Then, with a delicate twirl, he spun away, miniskirt fluttering, and revealed—lo and behold—a tantalizing glimpse of roomy, pure cotton men’s boxer shorts.
No one could quite decide whether he was wearing boxers or just a very convincing pair of leggings.
Yu Xiuli’s vision went dark; she looked ready to gouge out her own eyes.
The office was numb from Lin Jianyuan’s one-two punch of chaos. Then, at last, someone burst out with a shout:
“Yes!!!”
Naturally, it was Pei Shuo, pounding the desk and howling, “That’s fucking awesome!”
The others came roaring to life, applause shattering the air.
Lin Jianyuan strutted back to his desk, the crowd parting in awe, and said demurely, “Thank you, thank you, everyone. Back to work, now.”
The laughter wouldn’t stop; no one could take their eyes off the purple sequined miniskirt.
The skirt itself wasn’t even ugly—it was just the way Lin Jianyuan sat, legs splayed wide in pure dude fashion.
He couldn’t care less if the entire office saw his boxer shorts.
Hilarious. The guy wore a miniskirt—did anyone think he’d care about “indecency”?
The skirt was fine; Lin Jianyuan was the wild card.
Still, that skirt looked downright comfortable!
Sweaty Pei Shuo gazed at it with longing. “Bro, what’s it feel like, wearing a skirt?”
Lin Jianyuan replied, “Freedom.”
“Where’d you get it?”
“Downstairs. Elevator goes straight there.”
Pei Shuo looked ready to pounce. Another man in a miniskirt was moments away. Yu Xiuli finally broke and screamed—
“Fine, fine, fine! Just turn on the damn air conditioning!!!”
She was stuttering and shrieking with sheer desperation.
Success!
Everyone fist-pumped silently. Watching Yu Xiuli’s “what kind of monsters are you people” face, the whole office cheered on the inside.
The AC roared to life, blasting cold air into the room.
“Aaaah—”
The whole office let out a deep sigh of relief.
Just then, Yu Xiuli, face dark as a storm, marched upstairs and burst into Jiang Chen’s office with everyone watching.
Pei Shuo nudged Lin Jianyuan, whispering nervously, “Bro, she’s gone to tattle to Jiang Chen!”
Lin Jianyuan shrugged. “So what?”
Pei Shuo blinked, enlightenment dawning.
Right. So what!
Even Jiang Chen, the boss himself, got steamrolled by Yuan-ge. What was Yu Xiuli going to do?
Sure enough, a few minutes later—
Yu Xiuli came back, face twisted as if she’d just swallowed excrement.
She must have gotten the full story from Jiang Chen about Lin Jianyuan’s “condition.”
This thought sent the whole office into another round of suppressed laughter as Yu Xiuli returned to her seat, face as wrung-out as a soggy rag.
So ended the first day with the parachuted Efficiency Consultant.
Roasting authority was a joy, but overtime remained non-negotiable.
The project Lin Jianyuan was handling lately had a decent timeline, but as the work was divided up, everyone had to finish their share on time or the whole thing would stall.
Luckily, Pei Shuo had been learning on his heels for over a month and could finally offer real help.
With Pei Shuo’s assistance, Lin Jianyuan could now leave by eight instead of slaving away until ten.
Lin Jianyuan dragged his exhausted body to the subway station—naturally, by this time, he’d already changed out of the eye-searing miniskirt.
After swiping in, he noticed the station was packed. Most of the crowd were couples, hand in hand, happiness beaming on their faces.
Lin Jianyuan checked his phone—and realized that tonight wasn’t just Friday. It was Qixi, Chinese Valentine’s Day.
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