Chapter 58

Chapter 58: Cheating at Love

Lin Jianyuan’s original plan was to storm into the office tomorrow and slap his resignation letter right in Jiang Chen’s stupid face.

He didn’t care if he had to pay a penalty for breaking his contract.

He had a government job now anyway.

A real, official job, ha!

The moment Lin Jianyuan saw his new contract and realized he’d be making a million a year, his whole outlook changed.

Suddenly, nothing seemed to matter anymore.

Their household income was over three million—why bother fighting with idiots?

Lin Jianyuan even felt a flicker of pity for Jiang Chen.

He almost felt sorry for this guy who clearly had something wrong with his head.

After all, Jiang Chen didn’t make three million a year, but I did.

Jiang Chen didn’t have an adorable, to-die-for digestive system for a wife, but I—somehow!—did!

So why waste my time arguing with him?

It’s just a waste of time.

Is this what they call the conscience of the rich?

Wuhu~

Lin Jianyuan made up his mind—honeymoon first!

“Hey, babe, is there anywhere you want to go…”

He was about to pull out his phone to book tickets when he smacked his forehead.

How could he forget!

His wife was an S-class Aberrant!

Why bother booking tickets to go anywhere?

His wife could just teleport them!

“Travel?” His roommate leaned in, their soft, damp throat pressed against him as they peered at his phone. “I don’t know. I’ve never been on a trip before.”

Lin Jianyuan almost launched into his usual “oh, my poor, gentle, broke moonlight” routine, but then caught himself.

If his wife said he’d never traveled, he really meant it.

After all, wherever his wife went, it was always in a flash.

Teleporting had zero sense of occasion.

It wasn’t like traveling at all!

“This time, I’ll show you what a real trip is like!” Lin Jianyuan said, excited, and opened the app to look at the top travel destinations.

Then he realized another problem.

No money.

He and his wife might have a combined salary of over three million, but that was just on paper.

They’d only just started their new jobs today.

They hadn’t even begun working yet.

So they hadn’t been paid.

Lin Jianyuan: “.”

Should he threaten the Bureau with his S-class wife to get an advance on his salary?

The thought made Lin Jianyuan laugh at himself.

His roommate poked at his mouth. “What’s so funny?”

Lin Jianyuan grinned. “I’m laughing at how shameless I am.”

Roommate: “?”

His roommate’s duodenum curled into a question mark. Lin Jianyuan burst out laughing and leaned in for a kiss.

What else could you call it but the honeymoon phase?

They couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

One hug led to another kiss.

They kissed until they were breathless and satisfied.

Dizzy from all the affection, Lin Jianyuan glanced at his bank balance—still stuck in the low thousands—then made a decision.

“Let’s wait until we get our first paycheck before we go anywhere!”

His roommate had never traveled.

This time, Lin Jianyuan was determined to show him what humans loved about travel.

The next morning, the alarm blared at five.

They’d been tangled up together until late, so when the alarm went off, they’d only slept two hours.

Lin Jianyuan wanted to die, reaching out to silence the alarm.

Before he could touch it, the alarm stopped on its own.

A bit of intestine pinched his cheek. His roommate leaned in and kissed his ear.

Lin Jianyuan couldn’t help but smile. He rolled over, pulled his wife into his arms, and drifted back into blissful sleep.

Wait.

Sleep? Like hell!

Lin Jianyuan jolted awake and leapt out of bed.

Ding dong.

The doorbell rang.

Hopping on one foot, pulling on his pants, Lin Jianyuan awkwardly opened the door for Shi Shaoning.

“Uh, did you eat? My wife was about to make—” Lin Jianyuan started, but the mood in the room dropped.

He looked up and saw Shi Shaoning’s eyes swollen, his face dark.

The man’s resentment was so thick it could punch a hole through the ceiling.

Shi Shaoning slammed a folder onto the table, face cold.

“ID card.” He sounded rushed, already turning to leave. “I have to go on a business trip. I’ll show you around later.”

“Huh?” It was so sudden, and Lin Jianyuan was still half-asleep. He followed, dazed, as Shi Shaoning hurried down the stairs.

The clatter of his boots had a certain SWAT-team swagger.

You could tell he hadn’t made it to his film set before the Bureau called him in for overtime.

“If you’re this busy, why not send someone else?” Lin Jianyuan called after him. “Let someone else show us around?”

The bootsteps stopped.

Shi Shaoning paused on the steps, maybe dizzy, maybe torn, and let out a long sigh.

Then, gritting his teeth, he spat, “No!”

The boots clattered away.

Shi Shaoning stormed off at full speed.

Lin Jianyuan stood at the door in his flip-flops, baffled.

He still only had one leg in his pants.

“What’s he doing?” His roommate drifted over and rested his head on Lin Jianyuan’s shoulder.

Lin Jianyuan sighed in sympathy. “If you’re too responsible at work, you’ll never stop working overtime…”

Roommate: “?”

His roommate looked puzzled. “What does it mean to be responsible?”

Lin Jianyuan: “.”

Come to think of it, his Aberrant wife working for the Bureau was wild enough.

Responsibility wasn’t really his thing.

Picture it: his wife sent out on a mission.

Suddenly, his phone rings—Lin Jianyuan calling to ask when he’ll be home.

What do you think would happen?

He’d drop everything, run home on the spot, and sweetly say, “Right now!”

The thought made Lin Jianyuan laugh again.

“What are you laughing at?” His roommate poked him with a bit of duodenum, tapping his mouth, his cheek. “Falling for me all over again this early?”

“You’re so full of yourself!” Lin Jianyuan snorted. “Why do you think every time I laugh it’s because of you? Can’t I just think of something else and laugh?”

“Not because of me?”

“Nope.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why not? Narcissist.”

“Then I’ll kiss you. Chu~”

“!!!”

“See, you’re laughing again. Now it’s because of me, right?”

“Aaagh.”

Lin Jianyuan clamped a hand over his mouth, unable to stop laughing. “You’re cheating!”

His roommate just grinned, saying nothing.

And leaned in for another kiss.

Hopeless. Completely hopeless.

“I get it now. No wonder I’m so obsessed with you!” Lin Jianyuan ran around the room, hand over his mouth, grumbling, “You eat up all my negative emotions! When I’m with you, all I feel is happy. Of course I’m head over heels!”

“So what?”

“I can’t stand it, you’re cheating! How are we supposed to argue if you just kiss me every time? You wipe out all my momentum! You’re a terrible digestive system—who cheats at love?”

“Hmm.” His roommate tilted his “head.” “You’re supposed to argue when you’re in love? So complicated.”

Lin Jianyuan: “…”

He couldn’t take it.

Really couldn’t.

Looking at this soft, warm, pink digestive system in front of him, Lin Jianyuan couldn’t hold back. He sighed and pulled his wife into his arms.

chu~

Chu~

Hopeless.

Too cute.

He was going to smother his adorable wife with kisses!

They went back to the table and opened the package Shi Shaoning had dropped off.

Lin Jianyuan felt a little touched. Shi Shaoning was so busy, but still made time to deliver this before his trip.

As he tore open the folder, he wondered—was there a secret mission inside? Some hidden task for him?

But no.

Inside were just an ID card, a bank card, and a list of instructions.

For example:

No facial recognition at transit stations!

No access to facial payment on XXPay!

The bank card was registered, but biometrics were disabled. Set your own password. No fingerprint access.

Basically, it listed every rule in excruciating detail.

Lin Jianyuan: “…”

What the hell was all this?

Too long, didn’t read.

Anyway, his wife was now a person with an official identity… as an Aberrant!

And had a bank card!

Ah, so this is what being part of the system feels like.

They sure loved their red tape, but they got things done.

Lin Jianyuan felt great. It was still early—he felt even better.

He scooped up his wife and went back to bed for a nap.

As nice as it was, he still had to go to the office.

Time to quit.

Just thinking about quitting made Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli seem a lot less hateful.

He had a wife now!

And both of them had official jobs!

Together, they made over three million a year!

Lin Jianyuan pulled his wife in for a big kiss.

Instantly energized!

“Babe! I’m off to quit my job!” Lin Jianyuan declared, full of fighting spirit.

For his last day, Lin Jianyuan decided to take the subway, just for the ceremony of it.

“Okay. Be careful,” his roommate said softly from the doorway, waving a bit of duodenum at him.

sk——

sk——

Lin Jianyuan pulled out his squish toy to skip ahead, then paused, realization dawning. “Wait, you really can control time?”

The squish toy puffed up indignantly, wriggling out from between his fingers. “What else did you think?!”

Lin Jianyuan nodded. “That’s pretty impressive. No wonder you’re A-class.”

“Gah?” The squish toy hadn’t expected praise and perked up, pushing its luck. “See, I told you I’m your most useful sidekick! So, can you make me—”

Splat.

The useful little sidekick got squished.

Lin Jianyuan happily skipped past the whole subway crowding ordeal.

Squish toy: “…”

When the skip ended, the squish toy tried to pick up where it left off.

But Lin Jianyuan’s mind erupted in laughter.

Little Rock: “Hahaha!”

Angel’s Eye: “Hahahaha!”

Abyssal Mouth: “Hahahahahaha!”

The squish toy turned red with embarrassment.

Lin Jianyuan took a few steps, then remembered. He pulled out the squish toy. “What were you saying? The skip was too fast, I missed it.”

“Nothing!” the squish toy wailed.

Lin Jianyuan: “?”

Why was it crying now?

Whatever, maybe it was just too moist inside.

But Lin Jianyuan’s good mood lasted only until he reached the office.

As soon as he stepped into the elevator, he saw the two people he hated most.

Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli.

Like clockwork, Lin Jianyuan found himself annoyed at the sight of them, even though he was here to quit.

So much for the conscience of the rich!

The elevator was packed. The two of them stood on either side, leaving a big empty space in the middle.

Morning rush hour elevators were hard to catch. Lin Jianyuan glanced at the others, weighing whether to get in.

Yu Xiuli pressed the button and said to Lin Jianyuan, “No room. You should wait for the next one.”

Lin Jianyuan: “?”

There was a huge space between them!

Was there a ghost standing there?

Lin Jianyuan wasn’t in a hurry anyway—he was here to quit, not to be on time.

But before he could say anything, Jiang Chen started guilt-tripping him. “Lin Jianyuan, what are you doing? I said there’s no room, can’t you see? Don’t come in, you’ll overload the elevator. Don’t waste everyone’s time! There are so many people here!”

The elevator was public. During rush hour, it was packed with people from all the different companies in the building.

Everyone heard and started grumbling.

All eyes turned to Lin Jianyuan.

Lin Jianyuan: “.”

Fine.

He calmly tossed a squish toy inside and said coolly, “I won’t trouble you, then.”

The doors closed in front of him.

Go, Time Thief!

On the other side, the squish toy turned its indignation into power. “Roger! Enjoy every second—may it feel like a year!”

As luck would have it, just as their elevator went up, another one opened behind Lin Jianyuan.

Ding!

Lin Jianyuan turned around and found it empty!

Perfect!

He stepped in, rode straight to his floor.

As he got out, he glanced back at the elevator Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli had taken.

Ha! Still stuck stopping at the fifth floor.

Lin Jianyuan strolled into the office in high spirits.

As soon as he entered, everyone put down their breakfast and came over.

“How are you today, Lin Jianyuan? Feeling better?”

“Hey, you look good today. Everything settled at home?”

“Yuan-ge, Yuan-ge, did you have breakfast?”

That last one—“Did you eat?”—had to be from the golden retriever of the group.

Lin Jianyuan raised an eyebrow at Pei Shuo. “Already ate. Didn’t I tell you not to bring me breakfast anymore? My wife makes it for me every morning.”

Pei Shuo: “…”

Everyone: “…”

A look of concern passed between them.

Lin Jianyuan knew what they were thinking, but he couldn’t explain. The Bureau had its secrecy rules.

He felt a pang of regret, thinking about quitting.

His resignation letter was in his pocket, ready to slap across Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli’s faces.

But even if he wanted to show them up, he still had to do his handover properly.

Why else would Lin Jianyuan tell his wife, “If you’re too responsible, you’ll never stop working overtime”?

He was that kind of person himself.

He couldn’t just walk away and leave chaos behind.

Especially not when the people left behind were his good colleagues.

They’d been through tough times together under Jiang Chen and Yu Xiuli.

So, feeling strangely sentimental, Lin Jianyuan turned on his computer and started drafting his handover notes.

Seeing Lin Jianyuan cheerfully get to work, the others exchanged glances.

Pei Shuo’s eyes filled with tears.

Oh no, is this another day in the Truman Show?

So did Yuan-ge really eat breakfast or not?

Did his imaginary girlfriend (himself) get up in the night to make him breakfast, or did he just eat air again?

Either way, it’s too sad!

Better keep bringing him breakfast and try to get him to eat something!