Chapter 51

Chapter 51: Rent Hike

Honestly, the whole ID thing wasn’t because Xie Yu wanted to steal someone else’s identity.

The main issue was, he didn’t have one himself.

After all, you need real-name verification to register WeChat.

And if you want to receive money, you definitely need it.

So what could he do?

Of course, he just grabbed a random ID online to use for now.

As for facial recognition, he could always tweak his face.

No big deal.

All of this was nothing to him.

Anyway, he got his kickback.

Ding—a WeChat notification chimed from the kitchen.

Digestive System’s lips curled up.

Part of his intestines kept making breakfast for Lin Jianyuan, while another part reached into the gallbladder to grab the phone.

A moment later, Lin Jianyuan’s phone chimed too.

Ding.

Lin Jianyuan, brushing his teeth: "?"

Mouth full of foam, toothbrush in hand, he came out looking baffled. “Honey, why did you just send me money?”

Digestive System: “Paying you back for the last supermarket trip. And for future ones, too.”

Lin Jianyuan stared at the 400 yuan transfer, both amused and exasperated.

He had no idea where this money came from.

But he knew for sure his wife didn’t earn it easily.

The reason was simple.

She’d owed him seventy-something yuan for ages before finally paying it back.

Which meant she hadn’t had more than seventy yuan to her name this whole time.

That was just tragic.

What kind of miserable life had she been living before they met?

His sweet, penniless little moonlight!

The more Lin Jianyuan thought about it, the more his heart ached. He wanted to hug his wife, but remembered his mouth was still full of toothpaste.

So he hurried back to the bathroom to finish his routine.

By the time he returned to the kitchen, breakfast was ready and smelled amazing.

“What’s this?” Lin Jianyuan leaned over the table, delighted, staring at food he’d never seen before.

His roommate answered gently, “These are cheese bacon shrimp rolls.”

Shrimp paste mixed with carrot, green peas, and corn, seasoned with black pepper and sea salt.

Lay out the bacon like a carpet, top with a slice of cheese and the shrimp mixture, roll it up like sushi, and pop it in the air fryer—180 degrees for 25 minutes.

And out come fragrant cheese bacon shrimp rolls.

The creamy cheese melds with the smoky bacon, filling the air with savory aroma.

Green peas, golden corn, and orange carrot fleck the shrimp, their bright colors lifting your mood.

What does it mean for food to have color, aroma, and taste?

This is it—everything in one bite!

“Mmm, this is incredible…” Lin Jianyuan couldn’t stop, popping one after another into his mouth.

His roommate rested his chin in his hand, watching him with a soft, amused smile.

“How do you know how to make everything?” Lin Jianyuan beamed, devouring them two or three at a time.

“Xiaohongshu recommended it,” his roommate replied, his appendix swaying like a soft cat’s tail. “Ever since I tried a few recipes, it keeps sending me more every day.”

“That’s how big data works. You’re done for,” Lin Jianyuan teased, barely holding back laughter. “No more borderline videos for you—open Xiaohongshu now, and it’s all food, all the time.”

“Oh, really? I didn’t know,” his roommate replied, good-natured as ever. “I didn’t use Xiaohongshu much before—just started recently.”

“Oh, reeeally? I didn’t knooow~” Lin Jianyuan mimicked him, dragging out the words, then burst out laughing and reached to pinch his gallbladder. “Why are you acting cute again? Flirting with me first thing in the morning—can’t you behave?”

“I’m not acting cute. I always talk like this.”

“Then you’re always flirting with me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“No way!”

“You’re embarrassed! You’re blushing!”

“No, really, I’m not.”

Pointless banter, paired with a rich, nourishing breakfast.

The whole house glowed with warmth and sweetness.

Lin Jianyuan basked in happiness, practically shining.

Digestive System’s appendix swayed, his smile never fading.

Squish Toy, Little Rock, Angel Eyeball, and Abyssal Maw: “……”

Not a word!

Help! You call that not flirting? “I always talk like this,” my ass!

You only talk like that in front of humans!

Keep pretending in front of your human!

Lin Jianyuan happily devoured the breakfast his wife made with love.

Homemade food was always generous—bacon stuffed with a whole mound of shrimp, fragrant peas, sweet corn, crisp carrot.

These cheese bacon shrimp rolls were to die for.

He couldn’t take it—how could something taste this good?

“Hey, why aren’t you eating?” Lin Jianyuan suddenly noticed his roommate hadn’t touched his chopsticks.

Wait, he hadn’t even picked them up. Only one pair was set out.

His roommate said, “There wasn’t enough shrimp paste.”

Lin Jianyuan was about to offer, “I’ll go buy more,” but something clicked.

They’d agreed—she’d cook, he’d cover groceries.

So everything in the fridge was bought by him.

But he’d never bought bacon. Or peas.

Yet here they were, in breakfast.

Where did they come from? The answer was obvious.

—No wonder it took her so long to pay him back for the last supermarket trip.

She’d been quietly chipping in for groceries behind his back!

God, and this was only what he’d noticed!

How much more had she spent for him without him knowing?

Lin Jianyuan’s heart melted. He picked up the last cheese bacon shrimp roll, blew on it, and held it to his wife’s lips with a smile.

“Try it! It’s so good. You made it—you can’t not have any. That’s not fair.”

His roommate: “I already did.”

Lin Jianyuan: “Huh?”

His roommate: “The recipe said ‘add salt to taste,’ but I didn’t know how much was enough, so I kept tasting as I went.”

Lin Jianyuan: “?”

His roommate: “And before I knew it, there wasn’t enough shrimp paste left. Besides, I don’t usually eat this stuff—my stomach doesn’t really have a spot for it.”

Lin Jianyuan: “??”

His roommate said gently, “You eat. I don’t have to go to work anyway. I’ll find something else tasty later.”

Lin Jianyuan: “???”

Lin Jianyuan’s hand froze, chopsticks suspended in midair.

Right in the feels, man.

With mixed feelings, Lin Jianyuan finished the last cheese bacon shrimp roll.

But before leaving, he hugged and kissed his wife for a while longer.

And just like that, his mood bounced back.

After Lin Jianyuan left for work, Digestive System cheerfully opened the gallbladder and took out his phone.

He opened the remote control app and sent instructions to the vacuum-mop robot.

With a buzz, the robot rolled out of its base and started zooming around the house.

He’d already watched it for half an hour yesterday, but it was still fascinating.

Digestive System watched for a bit, then headed to the bathroom to wash his human’s underwear.

Washing underwear required hands, so he took his out.

Hands were actually pretty inconvenient—after all, they weren’t his original equipment.

Same for feet.

So he usually kept them stashed somewhere in his digestive tract.

His belly had plenty of room.

He could fit ten six-foot-tall animals in there, easy.

But he was slowly getting used to it.

The first time he used both hands, how to put it—

It was a pain in the ass.

(Even though he didn’t actually have an ass.)

As Xiaohongshu would say, his hands had just “grown in,” and he wasn’t familiar with them yet.

Yes, heavy Xiaohongshu users really do learn how to be human from Xiaohongshu.

But after a while, he got the hang of it—he was pretty adaptable.

And human hands, with five fingers, were brilliantly designed.

Palms, knuckles, fingertips—each finger had its own purpose, especially the thumb.

He was stunned the first time Xiaohongshu told him the thumb handled 80% of hand functions.

…Yes, now Xiaohongshu recommended him not just recipes, but tutorials on being human.

Just like Lin Jianyuan said—big data was magical.

Big data really knew what he needed!

Honestly, Xie Yu didn’t know what had gotten into him lately.

He’d never thought about “being human” before.

Turns out, being human was complicated—and pretty fun.

It was hilarious.

Every time he thought about it, he couldn’t help but laugh.

Maybe it was because he’d fallen in love.

That’s what Lin Jianyuan said—love makes you silly, makes you want to laugh all day.

Wait. Xie Yu suddenly realized—hold on.

He didn’t even have a brain. How could he be love-brained?

But Lin Jianyuan was totally love-brained right now.

Every night, he slept with Lin Jianyuan, cuddled up close, eating Lin Jianyuan’s lips.

And when he ate his lips, he’d snack a little too.

Given Lin Jianyuan was love-brained, eating him must’ve made Xie Yu love-brained too.

Any way you looked at it, it was Lin Jianyuan’s fault!

The thought made Xie Yu laugh again.

…Good thing Squish Toy, Little Rock, Angel Eyeball, and Abyssal Maw all went to work with Lin Jianyuan.

Otherwise, if they saw the apex predator of the food chain, an S-class Aberrant, giggling while washing human underwear, they’d die of shock on the spot.

Help!

Xie Yu’s lost it!

While Lin Jianyuan and Xie Yu floated in a pink cloud of love-brained bliss, things were very different at the Bureau.

A cloud of gloom hung overhead.

The reason was simple.

Bone Sonata was still missing.

The Bureau didn’t have its full imprint, so they couldn’t launch a large-scale search.

Without Bone Sonata, the entire field team turned into human statues by it couldn’t clock out.

They were still standing around in the break room.

…They were supposed to be stored in the warehouse.

But the statues unanimously objected.

They insisted, furiously, that they were people, not cargo!

It was bad enough not being able to go home—now they had to live in a warehouse?!

The break room was small, and everyone needed to rest. Having a dozen teammate statues lined up was a little too… funny—no, a little too tragic.

Whenever anyone saw those lifelike statues, they couldn’t help but—pfft—no, feel a pang of pity.

How was anyone supposed to relax like this?

On top of that, Captain Shi was in a terrible mood lately.

For a simple reason.

Xie Yu had demanded another kickback.

The kickback wasn’t the real issue. Being played for a fool wasn’t either.

He’d gotten used to all that! But Shi Shaoning was a grown man!

He wouldn’t lose his temper over something so petty!

What truly infuriated him was that he’d lost his chance to investigate Xie Yu further.

How could this be? Was Xie Yu really that smart—did he know Shi was planning to collect his imprint during their next shady deal?

That didn’t make sense.

High-level Aberrants might resemble humans, but they could never truly be human.

Or put another way—

When it came to scheming, Aberrants could never outplay humans.

So why hadn’t Xie Yu met him in person this time?

Why had he just dropped the kickback code and left?

Had Xie Yu really learned to play mind games?

Was it just coincidence, or had something else happened that the Bureau didn’t know about…?

Shi Shaoning had reported it to his superiors, but they got nowhere.

They simply knew too little about Xie Yu.

Was this the end of the trail?

Were they really going to let an S-class Aberrant run wild in City A?

The thought drove Shi Shaoning up the wall.

He even lost two thick, black hairs over it.

……

…

Lin Jianyuan was losing hair too.

And it was more than just two strands.

Because when he got to work, he found some files on his desk had been moved.

Some of the contents seemed changed, but too much time had passed—he couldn’t tell exactly what had been altered.

The last modified date matched the days he was in the hospital.

No doubt it was Yu Xiuli’s doing.

Lin Jianyuan was furious. The more he checked, the angrier he got.

He kicked his chair aside, ready to confront Yu Xiuli.

But suddenly his phone rang.

He looked down—it was the landlord.

Everyone in the office jumped at the sound of his chair.

Then the phone rang. Lin Jianyuan answered, still seething, but as he listened, he froze, pale as a ghost.

Everyone stared at him in shock.

“What do you mean?”

Lin Jianyuan’s face was ashen, his voice trembling.

He swallowed hard, disbelief and caution in every word:

“Why are you raising the rent? Isn’t the other room always occupied…? There’s someone living there, so why say it’s empty and try to raise my rent… Don’t mess with me. I’m warning you, I have a mental illness… Don’t mess with me!”