Chapter 68

Chapter 68: Regret Medicine

Lin Jianyuan’s heart pounded wildly.

But two seconds later.

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Regret didn’t move?

This was not how Lin Jianyuan had pictured meeting Regret: he’d expected a boss fight, dramatic music, and Regret lunging at him with some ultimate move.

In reality: the first time he passed by, he’d mistaken Regret for a person. The second time, he still thought Regret was just a guy.

Not only that, he’d even yelled at him.

He’d tried to grab him, too.

Then he’d been bounced away.

…Other than that last bit, Regret didn’t have any boss vibes at all.

Lin Jianyuan eyed the bronze man sitting by the fountain, full of suspicion.

Seriously?

Why hasn’t Regret done anything yet?

Is he charging up some secret move?

Just as Lin Jianyuan was racking his brain—

Ding—dong—

Music started playing!

Lin Jianyuan jumped back in alarm. Damn, there really was a boss battle soundtrack!

The next second.

The fountain erupted!

The bronze man sitting at the edge got drenched from head to toe.

Lin Jianyuan: "..."

The bronze man buried his face in his hands and groaned, “I knew I shouldn’t have sat here. How could I be so dumb? Anyone could see this coming… Why did I sit here? God, what am I even doing? I’ve wasted the whole night doing nothing…”

He fished out a handful of pills from who-knows-where and tossed them back.

The fountain settled down.

His bronze body dried instantly.

But since he didn’t move, the next second—

Ding—dong—

He got sprayed all over again.

He wailed, “Aaaagh!”

“Why didn’t I take the chance? I was already back, why am I still sitting here? Why do I always let the moment slip by…”

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

Is this guy really the legendary Regret?

He doesn’t seem like Regret at all—more like some random guy infected by regret, or maybe an escapee from Jiangchuan North Road 700.

Lin Jianyuan was still suspicious when a sudden realization struck him.

He had stepped backward several times without noticing!

Wait—

He glanced around and realized he was standing where he’d been two minutes ago.

While he was still thinking, his legs kept backing up on their own.

He was moving backward, step by step, further and further away.

Away from the bronze man by the fountain.

—This bronze-faced guy had to be Regret!

“Hey!” Lin Jianyuan shouted, trying to move forward. “You—”

Regret covered his face with both hands. “Someone’s calling me. How can he see me? Who is he? He’s calling me, what should I say? No, if he can see me, he must be special. I can’t just ignore him. But what do I say? Start over. What should I say this time…”

He tilted his head back.

And swallowed another handful of pills.

Suddenly, Lin Jianyuan’s legs jerked him back another step!

He staggered in shock, nearly losing his balance—except he couldn’t actually fall.

He wasn’t being forced back.

He was being rewound!

He was sent back to where he’d been half a minute ago!

Right where he’d called out “Hey!”

Regret kept his face in his hands, muttering, “What should I say this time? He only said hey… What do I say…”

Lin Jianyuan was starting to get the idea.

He opened his mouth, but suddenly a flood of images flashed before his eyes!

The Bureau. An upside-down spire. A mad web of spider silk.

A cell at the very bottom of the spire.

A bronze statue, hunched in the dark, muttering with its face in its hands.

“No, no, no!”

By the fountain, the bronze statue suddenly cried out, “No, I don’t want that, I can’t! I shouldn’t have pretended I didn’t see him, I should have—”

The bronze mouth opened—

Swallowed pills—

Alarm bells went off in Lin Jianyuan’s head. He reached into his pocket—

And hurled the talking stone straight at the bronze statue!

But—clang!

The little stone bounced off an invisible barrier before it even touched the bronze.

At the same time, the bronze man covered his face again and finished his sentence:

“I should have—killed him…”

Lin Jianyuan’s face changed. He turned to run!

But his body froze up again.

He spun around, only to be twisted back.

He tried again, but was yanked back again!

It happened over and over!

He was spun so much his head was spinning!

Lin Jianyuan: "Shit!"

He lost his temper, pointing at the bronze man and yelling, “Are you insane? If you want to kill me, just do it! Stop screwing with me! Do you even know who I am? I’m—”

Suddenly, his vision exploded into a kaleidoscope of images!

Lin Jianyuan’s pupils shrank. He froze on the spot!

A sea of blood roiled.

Something screamed in the heart of the blood.

Bronze rang out, struck and shattered.

“You killed him…”

Rage, despair, madness, regret—an avalanche of negative emotions merged into a familiar voice.

That voice screamed,

“You killed him!”

Boom!

It was like a grenade went off in front of him. His chest ached from the shock, and he staggered backward, nearly falling.

“No, no, no! I can’t! I can’t!”

The bronze man clutched his face in agony, burying himself in his hands and howling, “No, he’ll tear me apart! I can’t, I can’t… Start over! Start over! Start over!”

He swallowed pills like a madman!

Handfuls at a time!

Lin Jianyuan: "."

He was exhausted.

But now he finally understood what this idiot was doing.

This miserable bronze guy shouldn’t be called Regret—he should be called Regret Medicine.

Because he was always regretting.

Regretting what he’d done, regretting what he hadn’t.

He’d regret, break down, pop a regret pill, and rewind to before the decision.

Then make a choice.

Regret it again.

Take another pill.

Regret again.

On and on, in a loop.

Lin Jianyuan wasn’t sure what all those visions were.

Were they real timelines that had happened?

Or just fantasies?

There was no way to tell.

He only knew one thing now.

This S-class was a joke.

It wouldn’t attack, because it thought it’d regret attacking.

It wouldn’t run, because it thought it’d regret running.

It chose to do nothing, but doing nothing made it regret too.

It was trapped in its own regrets.

If regret medicine really existed, would it be like this?

Forever locked in your own prison.

Pretty pathetic, honestly.

But that’s no excuse for making me and my wife work overtime!

Lin Jianyuan glanced at the time and instantly got mad again.

Shit! It was almost two in the morning!

Who the hell works overtime with their spouse on their first day at a new job?!

Two in the morning!

Tomorrow—no, today!

They had a flight to catch today!

Lin Jianyuan whipped out a black trash bag and yelled, “Big Mouth! Open up!”

The Mouth of the Abyss, though usually stubborn, obeyed at once under that commanding glare!

It opened its mouth wide, tucking its teeth away.

Lin Jianyuan: “Go! Bag it!”

Mouth of the Abyss: "???"

It looked where Lin Jianyuan was pointing, then at itself.

“Me? You want me to bag Regret?!”

Lin Jianyuan snapped, “Look where I’m standing! Open your mouth as wide as this radius! At this distance, you won’t get bounced! Stop yapping and do it before it pops another pill! Go!”

The Mouth of the Abyss was still stunned. “At this range? My mouth… isn’t that big…”

“Useless!”

Lin Jianyuan lost all patience and shoved the useless trash bag aside.

He raised his left hand to the sky and shouted,

“Xie Yu!”

The sky changed color in an instant!

A massive pinkish-red shadow unfurled overhead!

By the fountain, the bronze man sensed something and started shaking his head frantically. “No, no, not this! I regret it, this isn’t right, I shouldn’t just sit here and wait to die, I should at least try to run, I should run…”

He opened his mouth—

Tilted his head back—

Lin Jianyuan pointed at him and yelled, “Eat him!”

The pink shadow lunged and bit down!

Clang!

Metal shrieked!

It sounded like metal being bitten in half. The pink shadow swallowed the entire fountain in one gulp!

The sky returned to normal. The shadow shrank, condensing.

Finally, it resolved into a familiar figure.

Lin Jianyuan rushed over. “Honey!”

The pink digestive system: munch, munch, munch.

Gulp.

After swallowing, his roommate turned to Lin Jianyuan and asked, confused,

“What did you just tell me to eat?”

The little toys, slowly regaining their senses: "?"

What?

What just happened?

The Mouth of the Abyss, thoroughly traumatized: “It—it’s huge! Why is it so huge?!”

The toys: "?"

Who? What’s huge?

Whose what is huge???

……

...

It all happened so fast.

But Lin Jianyuan’s roommate, now full of Regret, went home with him anyway.

The director listened to Lin Jianyuan’s report in silence.

It was already half past two in the morning.

The director sat at his desk, fingers steepled under his chin.

“So you’re saying Regret is inside Xie Yu’s stomach right now?” he asked cautiously.

Lin Jianyuan replied, “Not anymore. We just had it thrown up in Containment. You can’t eat that thing, it’s raw and reeks of metal. As soon as we got back, we had it spit out.”

The director: "..."

Xie Yu nodded, wrinkling his nose. “Yeah. Super gross.”

The director: "………………"

The director wasn’t used to Xie Yu talking like that. He couldn’t tell if it was sarcasm or something else.

He tried to figure out what Xie Yu was feeling.

Wait. Was Xie Yu… pouting?

No way. Was Xie Yu really pouting?

Xie Yu???

Was???

Pouting????

The director’s eyes went wide.

But that’s why he was the director.

He regained his composure immediately and said calmly, “Mm.”

Lin Jianyuan: "Huh?"

Director: “Mm, ah. Well. Uh.”

Lin Jianyuan: "?"

After a few false starts, the director finally cleared his throat and asked,

“So is Regret stabilized now?”

Xie Yu said, “No. Can’t digest it.”

He smiled faintly, a hint of mockery in his tone. “I’m not a god, after all.”

The director fell silent, thinking.

“Lin Jianyuan, what do you think?” He turned to Lin Jianyuan for input.

Lin Jianyuan: "Yaaawn—"

He was yawning.

The director: "."

Lin Jianyuan was dead tired. He hadn’t heard a word the director just said.

He finished yawning, noticed the director staring, and forced his eyes open, throat sore. “What?”

The director waved it off. “Nothing, we’ll talk later! Go home and get some sleep!”

“Oh, okay.”

Lin Jianyuan was beyond exhausted. Even a workhorse would have collapsed after a day like this.

He waved goodbye and grabbed his roommate’s little duodenum.

Pulling out his phone, he mumbled, “I’m so tired, I’ll call a car… Baby, are you tired… yawn…”

His roommate chuckled softly.

Lin Jianyuan heard the laugh and glanced over.

That’s when it hit him.

He was smiling too.

He’d been crazy for so long, he kept forgetting his roommate wasn’t human.

It was funny.

His roommate didn’t look human at all.

How had he fooled himself for so long?

Lin Jianyuan swung his roommate’s duodenum as they walked.

A smile played on his lips.

Let’s go.

Time to go home and sleep!

They had a plane to catch tomorrow!

Better teleport home and get some rest!